Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyrights

Foreword

Chapter 1 – My Childhood and Youth in Saigon

Chapter 2 – The True God’s Mighty Power Parted the Red Sea

Chapter 3 – Wandering In The Wilderness

Chapter 4 – Enter Into The Promised Land

GOODNESS AND LOVINGKINDNESS WILL FOLLOW ME ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE

TESTIFYING TO GOD’S UNFAILING LOVE

一生一世必有恩惠慈爱与我同在:

见证神永恒的爱

Bilingual English and Chinese Edition

Sylvia Chan

周慧贤

Translated from the Chinese by the Author

Copyrights

Goodness and Lovingkindness Will Follow Me All The Days of My Life:
Testifying to God’s Unfailing Love

Written in Chinese by Sylvia Chan
Translated into English by Sylvia Chan

Copyright © 2017, 2020
Sylvia Chan, Bentley C.F. Chan

ISBN 978-1978322332 is the ISBN assigned by KDP to the paperback edition of this book, and does not apply to the other editions of this book, including this ebook edition. This title is also available as a Kindle ebook (ASIN B07LC39B2M).

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means — electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system — without written permission from the copyright holders.

Christian Disciples Church Publishers
Printed in the United States of America by
Kindle Direct Publishing, an Amazon.com company
Charleston and Columbia, South Carolina, USA

Print edition available from Amazon.com and other online stores
Kindle e-book available at Kindle and online stores

Cover design and interior design: Bentley C.F. Chan

Image licenses:
© irabel8/Shutterstock.com
© Joshua Haviv/Shutterstock.com
© Can Stock Photo / ccaetano
© Can Stock Photo / kamchatka
© Can Stock Photo / dndavis
© Can Stock Photo / traxlergirl
© Can Stock Photo / Photocreo

Foreword

前言

My purpose in writing this testimony is to proclaim the lovingkindness, the righteousness, and the holiness of the only true God Yahweh. Long before I had come to know Him, He had already rescued me again and again from extremely dangerous situations. He had led me, step by step, to cross rivers and oceans, to go over land, to walk through the wilderness, and finally to enter the Promised Land. I believe that the following verses in the Psalms are the only verses that can adequately describe the experiences I have gone through in walking with Father God all these years:

A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. (Psalm 91:7)

Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life (Psalm 23:6a)

For more messages in Chinese, please visit www.shenguofuyin.com

我撰写这篇见证的目的是要宣扬独一真神雅伟的怜悯慈爱与公义圣洁。早在我还没认识祂之前，祂已经一再地把我从极端危险的情况中拯救出来。祂带领着我渡过江河海洋，走过大地旷野，一步一步地进入应许之地。我觉得唯有诗篇中的诗句最能贴切地描绘这些年来与父神同行的经历：

虽有千人仆倒在你旁边，万人仆倒在你右边，这灾却不得临近你。（诗篇91:7）

一生一世必有恩惠慈爱与我同在 （诗篇23:6）

若想获得更多我的中文信息， 请登录网址www.shenguofuyin.com

– Chapter 1 –

My Childhood and Youth in Saigon

第一章

在西贡的童年和少年时代

My family background

我的家庭背景

My Chinese name is Zhou Hui Xian. I was born in the city of Saigon (now Ho Chi Minh City) of South Vietnam. My parents were Chinese from the southern Chinese province of Guangdong. They moved from Guangzhou, the capital of Guangdong, to South Vietnam during the Japanese invasion of China. At that time they thought that they would stay temporarily in Vietnam for a few years, and that once the war was over they can return to Guangzhou. But soon afterwards, Vietnam too was captured by the Japanese, which made it very difficult for the people in Vietnam to make a living. By the time the war was over, my parents were impoverished, and couldn’t afford the ship fare to go back to China. They were stranded in South Vietnam, yet they held on to the hope that one day, after saving enough money, they could go back home.

我名叫周慧贤，出生在越南南方的西贡市（即胡志明市）。我父母是中国广东省人，在日本侵略中国时他们从广州逃难到越南南方。当时他们以为只是在越南暂住数年，一旦战争结束后就可以返回广州去。但是不久越南也被日本侵占，人民谋生非常困难。到抗战胜利后，他们已经一贫如洗，没钱买船票回国，所以就滞留在越南。但他们还是盼望着有一天筹够船资，就可以扬帆归国。

But shortly after the war of resistance against the Japanese had been won, the war of liberation in China got under way. The political situation in China changed rapidly, and within just a few years, the Nationalist government had moved to Taiwan, whereas the government of the People’s Republic of China was established in Beijing. Vietnam was also divided, into North Vietnam and South Vietnam. South Vietnam and the People’s Republic of China were opposed to each other, and there were no diplomatic relations between them. The people of these two countries were not allowed to communicate with one another, so my parents lost contact with their family members in the Chinese city of Guangzhou.

抗战胜利后不久，解放战争就开始了。政治局势迅速变化，不过几年的时间，国民党政府迁移到台湾，中华人民共和国政府在北京成立。而越南也分裂为南、北两国。中华人民共和国和越南南方政府处在互相敌对的不同阵营中，两国之间没有邦交来往，两国人民不能通讯。所以我父母和中国广州的亲友从此失去联系。

After Vietnam was divided into North and South Vietnam in 1954, the South Vietnamese government realized that the population of South Vietnam was smaller than that of North Vietnam. If in the future a referendum is held for the whole of Vietnam on a political decision, South Vietnam would certainly lose. So they came up with the idea of forcing all the Chinese in South Vietnam to give up their Chinese citizenship and take up Vietnamese citizenship. Many wealthy Chinese left South Vietnam; some went back to Hong Kong, some to Taiwan. But my parents were so poor that they couldn’t leave South Vietnam, and had to stay there. The method by which the South Vietnamese government forced the Chinese to take up Vietnamese citizenship was very simple: just change their place of birth from China to Vietnam, and issue them Vietnamese IDs. In one flash the Chinese in South Vietnam became Vietnamese born in Vietnam. My parents were angry about this, and resolutely held on to their Chinese passports. Even though the passports had no more legal value, they were the only proof of their Chinese identity, and were priceless to them for that reason.

1954年越南分裂为南、北两国之后，南越政府计算南方的人口不及北方的人口多。如果将来全越南要公民复决投票来作出政治决定，南越政府肯定会落败。他们就打起华侨的主意，他们强迫华侨转化为越南国籍。当时很多富有的华侨都纷纷离开，有些返回香港，有些迁居台湾。我父母很穷，他们走不了，只有留在越南。南越政府强迫华侨登记成为越南公民，办法很简单，只要把他们的出生地点强行改为越南，然后发一张越南身份证给他们。这样一下子他们就变成出生在越南的越南公民！我父母非常痛心，他们把自己的中国护照小心地保留下来。虽然这些护照已经没有法律上的价值，但却是唯一能够证明他们是中国人的凭据，所以他们视之为无价之宝。

I have two elder brothers and one elder sister; I am the youngest in the family. Because my family was very poor, my two brothers started working at a young age. My sister, after completing primary school, studied a bit of English but also worked. Because I was the youngest, my mother didn’t want me to stop my studies right after finishing primary school. But all the Chinese secondary schools in Vietnam were private schools, with high tuition fees that my parents could not afford. But Vietnamese-language schools had tuition fees that were so low that my parents had no option but to let me do my secondary education at a Vietnamese school. At my school I had no opportunity to study Chinese, so my parents encouraged me to learn Chinese on my own, and never to abandon the Chinese language.

我有两个哥哥，一个姐姐，我是老幺。因为家庭贫穷的缘故，我的两个哥哥都是年纪很小就去工作。我姐姐在小学毕业后，断断续续地念了一点英文，跟着也去找工作。因为我是老幺，所谓“最小偏怜”，母亲舍不得让我在小学毕业后就辍学去工作。但是我父母付不起中文中学的昂贵学费，因为中文中学全都是私立的。而越文学校的学费却很便宜，所以他们只有送我去越文中学念书。但是在越文学校里我学不到中文，我父母一再训勉我要自学中文，决不能把中文荒废了。

My mother missed her parents and siblings in Guangzhou very much. She disliked Vietnam, and had always longed to return to her homeland to reunite with her family. Perhaps due to my mother’s influence, I also didn’t like Vietnam even though I was born and raised in Vietnam. Ever since childhood I had longed to leave Vietnam and study overseas. I was keenly aware that my family was poor. Even though my parents had tried their best to give me a good education, they could only afford to send me to a Vietnamese-language school. It was simply impossible for me to study overseas. I therefore resolved to attain the best academic results possible so that I may apply for a national scholarship. I liked mathematics and physics, and hoped to study physics at an overseas science and technology institute to become a physicist. I dreamed that after finishing my studies, I will sponsor my parents to go overseas. They can either live with me or go back to China, whichever they choose.

我母亲很怀念她在广州的父母和弟妹。她完全不喜欢越南，她一直盼望有一天能返回家乡和家人团聚。可能是受了母亲的影响，我虽然出生在越南，但我却不喜欢越南。我从小就盼望离开越南，去外国读书。我明白自己的家庭贫穷，父母尽了最大的努力也只能供我念越文中学，要去外国读书是绝对办不到的事情。所以我下定决心要拿到最好的成绩，申请国家奖学金出国。我喜欢数学和物理，我立志要去外国的科技大学念物理，成为物理学家。我甚至梦想等我学成后，就把父母亲都接到外国去。将来他们可以和我一起住在外国，或返回广州居住，由他们选择决定。

Saigon liberated

西贡解放

While I was studying very hard to fulfill my dream of studying overseas, the political situation in South Vietnam was in upheaval. At the start of 1975, North Vietnam carried out a powerful assault on South Vietnam, and the North Vietnamese armies were capturing one city after another in the south. In just four or five months, the North Vietnamese armies reached the outskirts of Saigon, the capital of South Vietnam. The diplomats at the American embassy and American military personnel were evacuating quickly. South Vietnamese government officials were fleeing the country with a huge amount of gold and American dollars that they had amassed through corruption. On April 30th of 1975, the North Vietnamese armies captured Saigon; soon the whole of South Vietnam was liberated, and Vietnam was reunited as one country.

当我一边努力读书一边做出国留学的白日梦的时候，南越的政治和军事情势发生了天翻地覆的变化。1975年初北越政府向南方发动了猛烈进攻，北方的军队势如破竹地攻陷了南越一个又一个的城市。在短短的四、五个月左右的时间，北方的军队已直逼西贡市。美国大使馆和军事人员匆忙撤退，越南南方政府官员带着他们贪污所得的大量黄金和美元仓惶逃走。1975年4月30日越南北方的军队攻入西贡，接着整个越南南方都解放了，越南全国统一了。

The North Vietnamese tanks were roaming the streets of Saigon while their soldiers were taking control of the South Vietnamese government buildings. Their victory songs, such as the one that goes, “It was as if Uncle Ho was around on the day of the great victory,” were sung everywhere (Uncle Ho is the nickname of Ho Chi Minh, the late North Vietnamese political leader). I pondered on the things that were happening before me, and my mind went blank, with neither joy nor sadness. I had no idea what the new government would do to change the economy and society, but I knew that my dream of studying overseas to become a physicist had been destroyed by these tanks and cannons.

北方军队的坦克一辆接一辆地在大街上行驶过，他们的士兵进驻了南方政府机构的各栋大楼。到处可以听见他们高唱“大胜之日胡伯伯音容宛在”之类的凯歌（胡志明是北方政府已故的领袖，他们昵称胡志明为“胡伯伯”）。我看着这一切事情，心中一片空荡荡，无悲也无喜。我不知道将来新政府会怎样改革社会经济，但我知道我出国留学成为物理学家的美梦已被这些坦克大炮砸得粉碎。

Yet many Chinese Vietnamese in Saigon, including my parents, clung to a hope. They thought that because of the assistance given by the Soviet Union and China in the past few decades that enabled Vietnam’s glorious victory today, the Vietnamese government would treat the Chinese Vietnamese kindly, and allow them to get back their Chinese citizenship and return to China. This wishful thinking was widespread among the Chinese Vietnamese in Saigon, and many of them were excited about it.

在西贡很多华侨，包括我父母在内，却萌生了一个盼望。他们认为几十年来苏联和中国大力支援越南北方作战，所以才有今天的胜利，因此越南政府应该善待华侨，说不定政府会让华侨恢复中国国籍，准许华侨返回中国。这种一厢情愿的想法在华侨中间流传很广，使得很多人非常兴奋。

Meanwhile my mother had lost contact with her family members in Guangzhou for more than 30 years, and didn’t even know if they were dead or alive, or where they were living. I came up with an idea: I wrote a letter on her behalf to the Chinese authorities in Guangzhou. I told them my mother’s story and gave them her family’s address in Guangzhou which was valid thirty something years earlier. I asked the authorities to help my mother locate her family members. I didn’t know the address of the Guangzhou government administration, so I simply wrote the following address: “Committee of Guangzhou Administration, the Province of Guangdong, People’s Republic of China.”

母亲和广州的家人已失去联系三十多年，他们是死还是活？他们在哪里？她完全不知道。我想到一个主意，我代表她写了一封长信给广州市政府。信中我告诉他们关于我母亲的故事，我附上她以前在广州的地址，请求广州市政府替我母亲寻找她的亲人。我不知道广州市政府行政大楼的地址，在信封上我只写着“中国广东省广州市委员会”。

Two or three weeks later, we received a letter from Guangzhou. The sender’s name, whose family name was “Liu,” matched my uncle’s name. When my mother saw the name, her tears flowed. Inside the envelope were photos of my grandmother, my uncle, my aunt, and other family members, with a long letter written by my uncle. That was the first time my mother had received news and photos of her family in thirty something years. She learned that her own father had died. The elder of her two brothers had been captured by the Japanese, and forced into labor. He later escaped and fled to Hong Kong, then to Indonesia. Then there was no more news about him, so no one knew if he was dead or alive.

我们把信寄出去后，大概过了两、三周就收到一封从广州寄来的信，寄信人是“刘XX”，那是我舅舅的名字。母亲一看到这个名字，她就哭起来了！信封里面有我外祖母、舅舅、阿姨，和其他亲人的照片，还有一封我舅舅写的长信。这是三十多年来我母亲第一次收到家人的消息和看到他们的照片。我外祖父已去世，我另一个舅舅被日本军队抓去当战场劳工，不久他逃出来，避难到香港，然后辗转逃到印度尼西亚，后来就失去音讯，几十年来生死不明。

My mother got very excited, and immediately sent a letter with our photos to her family members in Guangzhou. From then on, she all the more longed to go back to Guangzhou. But the situation in Vietnam made the Chinese Vietnamese go from high hope to disappointment, then to despair!

我母亲非常兴奋，她立刻写了一封信，并附上我们的照片一起寄给广州的亲人。从那时候开始，她更渴望可以早点回广州去。但是越南的情况却使华侨们从盼望变为失望，最后变成绝望！

My first experience of the saving power of Yahweh, the only true God

初次经历真神雅伟的拯救

After the liberation, the Vietnamese government began to expose and criticize rich families. Private companies were being nationalized, and the Vietnamese currency was changed twice. All this led to the collapse of the economy of South Vietnam, and most of its people became unemployed. The government decreed that all the unemployed would cultivate the wasteland in the so-called “economic zone”. Many were sent to the economic zone, but the conditions there were so bad that most of them escaped back to Saigon.

解放后越南政府开始清算富户，把所有的私人企业转为国营公司，跟着又两次更换货币。结果使得越南南方的经济全面崩溃，大部分人都失业了。政府就下令所有失业的人都要去所谓的“经济区”开荒。很多人被送往“经济区”，但是那里的环境实在太恶劣，不久他们就逃回西贡。

Because my family was poor and my parents were handicraftsmen, we were not affected by the new policies against the wealthy. But at school, teachers and students alike had to attend classes in political studies. Everyone had to participate in the discussions and sing songs of praise to Uncle Ho and the Vietnamese government. I simply couldn’t bring myself to sing these songs and to speak these insincere flattering words, so I decided to quit my studies. Ever since my childhood I had always loved to study, so this was a very painful decision for me to make. My parents knew me through and through, and knew that I wasn’t doing this out of laziness, so they respected my decision.

我的家庭是贫户，我父母做小手工业，所以我们没受到什么影响。但是在学校里，老师和学生们都要上政治课，每个人都要参与学习讨论，还要唱颂歌来感谢赞美胡伯伯和越南政府的恩情。要我唱那些颂歌和说口是心非的话，我办不到，所以我决定停学。我从小喜欢读书，对我来说，停学是一件很痛苦的事情。我父母很了解我，他们知道我不是懒惰，明白我的痛苦，所以他们让我自己作决定。

But as soon as I quit my studies, I became an unemployed youth. This became a big problem for me because the government had decreed that all unemployed youths must take turns to do volunteer work in the “economic zone”. But ever since childhood, I had always been very weak and frail physically, so how could I ever survive the extremely bad conditions of the economic zone? Not only that, some young girls went to work in the zone and ended up being gang raped. They escaped back to Saigon, and some of them committed suicide. The rich families would hire workers to substitute for their children to work in the economic zone, but how could my parents afford to hire someone to substitute for me? My mother and I then decided that as soon as I receive the draft order to work in the economic zone, the two of us would commit suicide together. I was my mother’s hope in life, so if I died, she wouldn’t live either. Once we made up our minds, we became much more at peace.

但是一旦停学后，我就成为无职业的青少年，而政府命令无职业的青少年要轮流前往“经济区”做义务劳动。我从小身体瘦弱多病，怎能在那么恶劣的环境存活？而且有些女孩子前往“经济区”参加劳动，竟然惨被轮奸，她们逃回西贡后就自杀了！那些富有的家庭都付钱请工人代替自己的儿女去做义务劳动，但我父母哪里有钱请工人代替我呢？我母亲和我决定，一旦政府的命令来到要征召我去“经济区”做义务劳动，我们两人就一起自杀算了！我母亲一生的希望都寄托在我身上，如果我死了，她也活不下去。当我们作好这种打算后，心情反而轻松多了。

The government’s conscription campaign reached deep into the various districts of Saigon, from one street to the next, from one house to the next. The unemployed youths of every family had to do volunteer work in the economic zone. At the appointed time, the government would send big trucks to pick them up. My family lived in a small alley that was part of a big street whose houses had already received the government’s conscription directive. My mother and I thought that our time was coming, but then something amazing happened, or didn’t happen.

政府征召的命令临到一区又一区，从这条街到另一条街，从这一户到另一户，每家每户的无业青少年都必须在规定日期去“经济区”劳动。到时候政府会派大卡车送他们前去。我的家在一条小胡同里，胡同外面的大街上家家户户都接到命令了。母亲和我以为时候已到，但是一件奇妙的事情发生了。

There were 35 houses in our small alley, but the conscription order never reached these 35 houses. The “economic zone volunteer work” campaign had been going on for a long time, starting from the middle of 1975. It was still going on at the beginning of 1978 when I left Saigon. Almost all the unemployed youths in Saigon had received the order to do volunteer work in the “economic zone” at least once; some were even called several times.

But not those who were living in the 35 houses of the alley. Many of my friends who lived outside the alley were called to work in the economic zone, and they hired workers to substitute for them. When we all came together and talked about the volunteer work in the economic zone, none of them believed me when I told them that I had never received any such order from the government. They said to me, “Just admit it, your parents hired someone to substitute for you. It’s no big deal, we’re all doing the same.” But no matter how much I explained my situation to them, they simply wouldn’t believe me.

Because the government searched for — and summoned — the youths according to the household registration records, it was technically impossible to miss anyone. So it seemed that a pair of mighty hands had covered the eyes of the officials, who didn’t see the 35 houses in that small alley that was part of a big street. As a result, the youths living in the alley were able to escape the conscription order.

我家的胡同里有三十五户，征召的命令从来没有传达到这三十五户人家。这个“经济区义务劳动”的运动持续了很久，从1975年中到1978年初，当我离开西贡的时候，这个运动还在继续进行中。西贡市几乎每个角落的无业青少年都被征召参加劳动最少一次，有些人甚至被征召两、三次，只有我们胡同的三十五户却一直没有接到命令。我的朋友们全都被征召过了，她们都是请工人来代替。当我们一起聊天，谈到义务劳动的时候，我告诉她们我从来没有接到命令，她们都不相信我。她们以为我不敢承认我父母请工人代替我，所以才说没接到命令。她们对我说：“妳就承认了吧！妳父母请工人代替妳，这有什么大不了，我们都是这样做嘛！”无论我怎样解释，她们都不相信我说的话。因为政府是根据“户口登记表”挨家挨户地征召青少年们，按理是绝不会遗漏的。但似乎有一双大能的手蒙蔽了那些办事人员的眼睛，使他们看不到这小胡同里的三十五户人家。结果这胡同里的青少年就成了“漏网之鱼”。

At that time I did not know the only true God Yahweh and His Son Jesus Christ. My parents were traditional Buddhists, and I too was a Buddhist following my parents. Yahweh God is full of righteousness and lovingkindness, just as the Bible says: “He causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” Although my mother and I were not Christians, when we were in desperate situations, Yahweh God had mercy on us and raised His mighty hand to rescue us. That was the first time I experienced God’s amazing love.

当时我还没有认识独一的真神雅伟和祂的儿子耶稣基督，我父母都是传统的佛教徒，我也跟随父母信奉佛教。雅伟是圣洁公义而又慈爱怜悯的真神，正如圣经所说：“祂叫太阳照好人也照歹人，降雨给义人也给不义的人。”虽然母亲和我不是基督徒，但是当我们濒临绝境的时候，雅伟动了怜悯之心，祂伸出大能的手来拯救了我们。这是我第一次经历神的奇妙大爱。

Mother passes away

母亲去世

My mother had two hopes in life: the first is to see me achieve my academic goals, the second is to return to her homeland, China. In all her years in Vietnam, she had been ill most of the time, and it was these two hopes in life that gave her the strength to fight the sicknesses. But after the liberation of Saigon, she saw that my studies and future prospects had been destroyed. At the start of the liberation, my mother was still hopeful that she will return to China one day. And especially after she had found her lost family members, she was all the more eager to return to her homeland. But later she saw that the new government had never intended to let the Chinese Vietnamese go back to China, and realized that she simply had no hope of going back home. Her two hopes in life were dashed to pieces one after the other, and her physical health was getting worse and worse.

母亲一生有两个盼望：第一就是能看到我学业有成，第二就是能够返回故国。她在越南数十年来都身体多病，就是靠这两个盼望支持着她与病魔搏斗。但是西贡解放后，我的学业前途也随着被完全毁掉。解放初期，母亲还以为归国有望。尤其是她重新联系到在广州的亲人后，她更是归心似箭。但后来母亲看到新政府根本不打算让华侨返回中国，她知道归国已经无望。母亲的两个盼望都先后被粉碎了，她的身体也随着越来越坏。

At that time, most of the French and American medical doctors were leaving Vietnam. There was also a severe shortage of medicines. Even hospitals didn’t have a sufficient supply of medicines. A lot of the medicines were being sold on the black market at very high prices. Because of the shortage of doctors and medicines, my mother did not receive good medical care. In 1976, one year after the liberation of South Vietnam, my mother started having abdominal pain. The pain was getting worse and worse, and she had to take painkillers every day. I often had to go to the black market to buy painkillers for her. One of our neighbors, a nurse with a few decades of nursing experience, saw that my mother’s situation was not right, and suggested to us to take my mother to a cancer hospital for a checkup.

那时候西贡大部分的法国医生和美国医生都纷纷离开，医药非常短缺，连医院都缺乏药品。但大量的药品却在黑市上流通，以非常昂贵的价格出售。在医生和药品都缺乏的情况下，母亲的病得不到好的医疗。解放后一年，1976年，母亲开始觉得小腹疼痛。后来这种疼痛越来越严重，她每天要吃止痛药。我常常要跑到黑市买止痛药给她。我们的邻居是一个有几十年经验的护士，她看到母亲的情况不对劲，她向我们提议应该让母亲去政府的癌症医院作检查。

So my mother and I went for an examination at the cancer hospital. The diagnosis was uterine cancer just as our neighbor had predicted. But my mother and I were neither sad nor panicky because we had already planned to commit suicide once the government drafts me into volunteer labor in the “economic zone”. It is said that “nothing is sadder than a withered heart,” so not even cancer was too scary for us.

母亲和我便前往癌症医院作检查，检查的结果是子宫癌，正如那位邻居所预测的。但母亲和我既不恐慌也不悲哀，因为我们早已准备好，如果一旦政府征召我去“经济区”开荒的话，我们就一起自杀。所谓“哀莫大于心死”，所以患上癌症也不是很可怕的事情。

The cancer hospital arranged for my mother to undergo chemotherapy. After the first treatment, she felt extremely tired, and her whole body became very weak. She saw that the other patients were getting weaker and weaker after a few treatments, to the point that their every movement needed support from other people. So my mother decided to stop the treatment and to be discharged immediately. Her reason was that since most of the cancer patients would die anyways, especially with the shortage of medicines and doctors, what’s the point of going through more suffering from chemotherapy? She felt that if life were happy and full of hope, then one would have a reason to live longer. But if life is painful and full of despair, even if one could live to the age of a hundred, the treatment would simply prolong the suffering, in which case it would be better to end life earlier. After her two hopes in life had been dashed to pieces, my mother all the more lost the will to fight the sickness.

Her health was deteriorating rapidly, and in just a few months, she could no longer go out of the house. But the strange thing was that she didn’t feel too much pain. She only needed the ordinary painkiller every day; it was not like the case of a cancer patient who needed to take very strong painkillers such as morphine to stop the pain.

癌症医院让母亲住院接受化疗。但经过第一次疗程后，母亲觉得非常疲倦，浑身软绵绵的。她看见邻床的病人经过数次治疗后，身体越来越衰弱，一举一动都需要别人搀扶。母亲毅然决定不再接受化疗，立刻出院。她的理由是既然大部分的癌症病人都不能治好 （在当时医生和药品都缺乏的情况下，大部分的癌症病人都治不好），最后难免一死，那又何苦要受化疗这种活罪呢？而且她认为如果生活是幸福快乐的话，那当然谁都想活得长寿一点，但如果活在绝望痛苦当中，即使长命百岁也没意思，只是延长痛苦而已，倒不如早点结束。母亲一生的两个盼望都被粉碎后，她已失去了生存的意志，她不想再与病魔搏斗了。

My mother started planning for things beyond her death. She told me not to bury her in Vietnam, but to have her body cremated and her ashes brought home. Ever since the day South Vietnam was liberated, a lot of people were escaping out of the country, so my mother told me to find a way to escape out of Vietnam. She asked me to bring her ashes with me when I escape. In the future, when I have the chance to go to China, I must bring her ashes back to Guangzhou to be buried there. But if I cannot escape from Vietnam — in which case I wouldn’t live long either, as she was fully aware — her ashes are to be scattered in the ocean before I die. She also asked my father to find me a way of escape to a foreign country so that I could rebuild my future and wouldn’t be stifled in Vietnam.

母亲的病情迅速恶化，不到几个月的时间，她已衰弱得不能出门了。但奇怪的是她的疼痛并不很严重，她每天只是吃普通的止痛药就能止痛，不像一些癌症病人要吃吗啡来止痛。母亲开始作死后的安排，她告诉我不要把她埋葬在越南，要把她火化，保存她的骨灰。自从越南南方解放后，就一直不断有人偷渡出境，母亲教我要想办法逃出越南。她叫我离开越南的时候把她的骨灰带走，将来有机会回去中国的话，就把她的骨灰带回广州去埋葬。如果我不能离开越南的话，母亲知道我也活不长了，她叫我在去世前先把她的骨灰撒在大海里。母亲也求我父亲想办法让我偷渡到外国去重建我的前途，不要让我被埋没在越南。

On May 23rd 1977 my mother died. In accordance with her wishes, we had her body cremated, and kept the ashes at home. I wrote to my uncle in Guangzhou to tell him the sad news. My mother’s family members were devastated, for they had been hopeful that after thirty something years, the whole family could be reunited. I kept in contact with my uncle, who also expressed the hope that I will bring my mother’s ashes back to Guangzhou.

1977年5 月23日母亲去世了。我们遵照她的遗言把她火化，把她的骨灰保存在家里。我写信给广州的舅舅告诉他这个噩耗。广州的亲人都非常沉痛，他们满以为失散三十多年的骨肉很快就可以团聚，谁知道我母亲却去世了。我继续和舅舅保持联系，他希望我想办法带着母亲的骨灰到广州去。

`

– Chapter 2 –

The True God’s Mighty Power Parted the Red Sea

第二章

真神大能分开红海

From Saigon to the town of Dongxing in Guangxi province

从西贡到广西省的东兴镇

My sister got married shortly after the liberation of South Vietnam. All along her husband had been looking for a way to escape out of Vietnam, but the cost of escaping by boat to Thailand or Malaysia was too high, and he couldn’t afford it. When he found out that my uncle wanted me to go to Guangzhou, he came up with an idea: Take the train from Saigon to Hanoi, the capital of North Vietnam, and from there find ways to cross the border into China. The price for a train ticket from Saigon to Hanoi was relatively low, and my brother-in-law knew some Chinese Vietnamese who were living in North Vietnam and would often cross the border into China to buy goods to bring back to Vietnam. So they were very familiar with the roads in that area. My brother-in-law knew that he only had to pay these Chinese Vietnamese a small sum of money, and they would be willing to lead us into China. He was planning to use this way to escape out of Vietnam because the cost was very low.

我姐姐在解放后不久就结了婚。姐夫也一直在想办法偷渡离开越南，但是坐船偷渡去泰国或马来西亚的费用太高了，他付不起。当他知道我的舅舅鼓励我回到广州去，他就想到一个主意：他打算从西贡坐火车到北方的河内市（北越的首都），然后在河内想办法越过中越边界进入中国。一张从西贡到河内的火车票很便宜，而且我姐夫认识一些在越南北方的华侨。他们常常越过边界去中国买东西带回越南，他们很熟悉那一带的路途。姐夫知道只要付一笔钱给他们，他们就可以带我们过去中国。姐夫计划用这个办法偷渡离开越南，因为这个办法的费用非常便宜。

I asked my father for his opinion about the plan, and he felt that it would be good for me to follow my brother-in-law and my sister to escape out of Vietnam by this means. Even though my family was poor, my father had some savings. He gave me an amount needed for the escape, and took me out to buy clothes and a knapsack. I put my mother’s ashes in a few layers of plastic bags, then wrap the whole thing with clothes and put it in the knapsack. In early February 1978, on the second day of the Chinese Lunar New Year, I ate my last New Year’s meal at home. At 1 o’clock in the morning my eldest brother picked me up with a motorcycle to bring me to the train station. My father stood at the door to send me off. I met up with my sister, my brother-in-law, and their one year old son at the train station, and then took the train up north together.

我去询问父亲的意见，他也很赞成我跟随姐姐和姐夫用这个办法偷渡离开越南。我家虽然贫穷，但父亲还是储蓄了一点钱。他把偷渡的费用如数交给我，他还带我去买了一些衣服和背囊。我把母亲的骨灰装在数层塑料袋中，再用衣服把它包裹好，放在背囊里面。1978 年2 月初，农历春节的大年初二凌晨一点钟，我在家里吃过了开年饭，大哥就用摩托车送我去火车站，父亲站在门口目送我离开。我在火车站会合姐姐、姐夫和他们一岁多的儿子，然后一道坐火车北上。

After the train had arrived at Hanoi, we transferred to a bus to go to Hai Phong, a coastal city that had a lot of Chinese Vietnamese living there. We stayed in a house that belonged to a friend of my brother-in-law’s. A few days later, this friend made all the arrangements for us, and led us to a small boat to go to another small town. From that town we went into a village that was within walking distance of the border river between Vietnam and China. We hid in the village for a few days. One night, when the river was in low tide, two of my brother-in-law’s friends led us to wade through the river. The water level reached my chest, and I didn’t know how to swim. Normally I would have been very scared, but amazingly I wasn’t scared at all. Peace and warmth filled my heart, and I was thinking about finally bringing my mother back home.

火车到达河内市后，我们转车从河内去海防市。海防是一个沿海城市，那里有很多华侨。我们住在姐夫的朋友家里等候。过了几天他的朋友安排好一切，就带着我们乘小船从海防前往另一个小镇。从那小镇又辗转到了一个在边界附近的小村子，从那里可以走路到划分中越边界的河流，我们在那里等候了几天。在一天晚上，当河水低潮的时候，姐夫的两个朋友带我们涉水过河。河水高达我的胸膛，我不会游泳。我应当很害怕，但奇怪的是我毫不害怕。一股难以言喻的温暖平安充满了我整个心灵，我心里只是想着我终于带着母亲回国了。

The other side of the river is Chinese territory, a small town called Dongxing of Guangxi province. Our guides took us to a market place there, but the place was desolate at around 3 o’clock in the morning. They told us to wait there until dawn, and when we see people coming in, we will ask them for directions to the police station. The guides said we will need to report ourselves to the police, tell them the reason for crossing the border, and plead with the government to allow us to stay. Then our guides waded through the river back to Vietnam. We all sat on a bench, and at around 5 o’clock, workers started coming to the market place. We asked them for the directions to the police station, and went there to report ourselves.

过了河就是中国领土，那是广西省的一个小镇，名叫“东兴”。带路的两位朋友领我们到东兴的菜市场坐下，那时候是凌晨三点多钟，市场空无一人。那两位朋友叫我们等到天亮后，看到有人走过的时候就问人家怎样去公安局。他们说一定要去公安局自首，向公安说出偷渡的理由，恳求政府准许我们留下来。然后他们就涉水回越南去了。我们坐在一张长板凳上等候，大概五点钟左右市场的工人开始来上班。我们问他们去公安局的方向，然后就前往公安局自首。

When we arrived at the police station, we frankly told them that we were Chinese who had escaped out of Vietnam, and pleaded with the government to take us in. At first the police staff didn’t want to accept us, and repeatedly told us to go back to Vietnam. We said in reply that we couldn’t go back to Vietnam, for if we did that, we would be put in jail. The police staff told us to sit aside and wait. I was planning in my heart that if they should force us to go back to Vietnam, I would immediately spread my mother’s ashes on the soil. Even if she couldn’t be buried in Guangzhou, at least her ashes would be mixed with the soil of the homeland she loved and they would never be separated again. After that I will fight with the police officers and let them shoot me dead, for if I go back to Vietnam and get caught, I would be put in prison for twenty or thirty years. I was still young, so if my whole life is going to be destroyed, it would be better for me to be shot dead now by the police officers. Once I made up my mind to be ready to die, I wasn’t scared at all.

我们到了公安局，就坦诚地说明我们是从越南逃过来的华侨，我们恳求政府收容我们。当初公安局的人员不肯收留我们，他们一再叫我们回到越南去。我们说回不去了，如果回去就要坐牢。那些公安人员叫我们坐在一旁等候。当时我在心里盘算，如果他们真的强迫我们回去越南的话，我就立刻把母亲的骨灰撒在泥土上。即使她不能安葬在广州，但到底她的骨灰混在她最亲爱的祖国的泥土中，永远不再分开了。然后我就跟那些公安人员拼了，让他们开枪把我打死。如果我回到越南被抓住，就要坐二、三十年的牢。我还那么年轻，如果我的一生就这样被毁掉，倒不如现在让他们打死算了，图个痛快。因为我已做好必死的打算，所以也不害怕担忧。

We were sitting on a bench, and soon a couple and their son about one year old walked into the police station. From their clothes I could tell that they were also from South Vietnam. They also came to report themselves and asked the government to take them in. The police officers asked them to sit together with us. Not long after that, a third group came into the police station, then another group. By noon time the reception hall of the station was filled with Chinese Vietnamese, some of whom were from South Vietnam, but most were from North Vietnam. The police officers didn’t know how to handle the situation, so they took us to a small inn nearby. We all carried Renminbi (Chinese currency) and food coupons, so we had lunch and rested in that small inn.

我们坐下不久，就看见一对夫妇带着一个一岁左右的孩子走进公安局来。从他们的服装可以看出他们也是从越南南方来的。他们也是来公安局自首，恳求政府收容他们。公安局人员叫他们和我们坐在一起等候。不多久，第三批人来了，接着一群又一群，一批接一批的人陆续来到，有些是越南南方的华侨，但大部分却是来自越南北方的华侨。大概中午的时候，整个公安局的大厅都坐满了人。公安局的人员看见这种情况，他们也有点手足无措，不知道该怎样处理才好。中午过后不久，公安局的人员带我们去附近一家小旅馆。我们都带着人民币和粮票，我们就在那家旅馆吃饭，然后休息。

The next day, an officer sent from Nanning (the capital city of Guangxi province), a certain Officer Wu, came to the inn where we were staying, and wanted to talk to the Chinese Vietnamese there. Those from North Vietnam didn’t speak Mandarin Chinese, but even among those from South Vietnam very few could speak Mandarin. But I could speak Mandarin, so Officer Wu asked me to be his translator. He told me that more and more Chinese Vietnamese were arriving in China that day, and that many of them were crossing into China through the border between Vietnam and the two provinces of Guangxi and Yunnan. Some Chinese Vietnamese fishermen families from North Vietnam piloted their fishing boats to the ports along the coast of China. Because of all the things taking place, the central government in Beijing was paying close attention to the development of the situation. When I heard of this, I was very happy, for I knew that the Chinese government will not force us to go back to Vietnam.

第二天，一位从广西的省会南宁市派来的吴同志来到旅馆，他要找我们这批华侨谈话。从越南北方来的华侨都不懂普通话，即使在南方的华侨当中，懂普通话的人也很少。而我能说普通话，所以吴同志叫我当他的翻译员。他告诉我们今天来的华侨更多了，而且沿着广西、云南两省和越南的边界线上，每天都有大批的华侨逃过来。一些在北方的渔民华侨干脆全家大小驾着渔船来到中国沿海的港口。所以北京的中央政府也很注意这件事情的发展。我听了心中非常高兴，我知道中国政府不会把我们赶回越南去了。

We stayed in that small inn temporarily, and I wrote a letter to my uncle in Guangzhou to tell him that I had arrived at the town of Dongxing in Guangxi province with my mother’s ashes. Within a few days, I received a letter from him, telling me that he will come immediately to Dongxing with my cousin. A few days later, my uncle and my cousin arrived from Guangzhou. It’s my first time to see my uncle, and he looked very much like my mother. When he looked at my mother’s ashes, his tears almost poured down. After being separated for thirty something years, they thought that the whole family could be reunited soon, but in the end all they could see was a bag of ashes.

我们暂时住在那家旅馆，我写了一封信给广州的舅舅，告诉他我已带着母亲的骨灰来到广西的东兴镇。几天后，我收到舅舅的回信，他说他和我表弟会立刻来东兴。再过了几天，舅舅和表弟从广州来到。这是我第一次和舅舅见面，他的面孔很像母亲。他望着母亲的骨灰就差点流出眼泪来。三十多年阔别，本以为能再度团聚，结果却只看到一袋骨灰而已。

The only true God opened the way to Guangzhou

真神领路来到广州

The next day my uncle and my cousin departed, taking my mother’s ashes. Before my uncle left, he gave me a proof of an official business trip, and told me to use it to buy a train ticket to Guangzhou. He gave me sufficient money and nationwide food coupons for my expenses on the journey.

第二天舅舅和表弟就带着母亲的骨灰先走了。临走时他把一张出差证交给我，他吩咐我用这张出差证去买车票前往广州。他也给了我足够的人民币和全国通用粮票，让我在路上使用。

Every day more and more groups of Chinese Vietnamese were streaming into Dongxing, and soon the number of Chinese Vietnamese in this small town went up to around thirty thousand, outnumbering Dongxing’s local population. Because there was not enough space to house all the Chinese Vietnamese, the government moved us to a school. From the reports by the new arrivals, we got to know that most of the Chinese Vietnamese farmers and fishermen in North Vietnam were preparing to come to China. There was a dispute between China and Vietnam at the border, and the Chinese government was evacuating the people living in the towns along the border. They were preparing for war, and it looked like war will break out soon. My brother-in-law, my sister, and I all realized that it was time for us to leave Dongxing for Guangzhou. We decided that I would leave first; then one or two days later, my brother-in-law and my sister would leave with their son.

每天都有大批大批的越南华侨逃到东兴来，结果华侨的人数达到三万多人，比整个东兴镇的人口还要多。因为没有足够的地方让我们居住，所以政府把我们迁移到一所学校暂住。从那些刚到达的华侨的口中，我们知道大部分在越南北方从事农业和渔业的华侨都准备回到中国来。而且中越边界之间有纠纷争执，中国政府正在疏散在边界各城镇的居民，做好战争的准备，看来战争是一触即发了。姐夫、姐姐和我都认为我们应该离开东兴前往广州，我们决定让我自己一个人先走，然后过一两天姐夫和姐姐才带着孩子离开。

Dongxing was a small place, and was not serviced by any train in Guangxi. So the journey from Dongxing to Guangzhou was quite complicated. I had to take a long-distance bus from Dongxing to Nanning, the capital city of Guangxi; from Nanning I would transfer to the train heading to the city of Hengyang of Hunan province; then from Hengyang I would take another train from Beijing to Guangzhou. It would be the first time I traveled by myself, and I was very scared. But it was during this journey that I experienced a whole series of amazing and inexplicable things.

东兴是一个小地方，广西的火车线达不到东兴。要从东兴去广州的话，路程是非常复杂。我要先坐长途公共汽车去广西的省会南宁市，然后从南宁乘火车去湖南的衡阳市，在衡阳转乘从北京南下广州的火车。这是我第一次单独一人远行，我很害怕颤惊。但正是在这次行程中，我经历了一连串奇妙、难以解释的事情。

I bought a bus ticket with the proof of official business trip that my uncle had given me. The departure time was six o’clock in the morning of the next day. I got up early in the morning before dawn when the people in the school were still asleep, carried my knapsack, and walked to the bus station. The streets were empty and desolate, which was truly amazing. If there had been police officers patrolling the streets, I would have been doomed because they all recognized my face. If they had seen me walking to the bus station with a knapsack, they would definitely interrogate me. If that had happened, not only would I be arrested, even my uncle would get into trouble. Again the loving true God Yahweh raised His mighty hand to send away the people so that I could walk peacefully to the bus station and get on the bus.

我用舅舅带来的出差证买了去南宁的车票，启程时间是早晨六点钟。第二天清早，天还没亮，学校里其他的人还没起床，我就静悄悄地背着背囊往公车站去。一路上没有见到一个人，单单这一点已经够奇妙了。因为如果有公安人员在巡逻的话，我就糟糕了，他们全都认得我的面孔。他们若看到我背着背囊走进公车站，就一定会查问我。那么不但我走不了，可能连舅舅都会被牵连在内。但慈爱的真神雅伟又伸出大能的双手把所有的人都调走了，让我平平安安地进了车站，上了公车。

On the bus I chose a window seat. Soon a man around fifty years old with a gentle face and mild manners sat next to me. The bus departed on time at six o’clock. I looked at the streets of Dongxing, and saw them getting farther and farther away from me. I had been living in this small town for three months, not knowing if I will ever come back here in the future. (As of this date in 2017, thirty nine years have passed, and I still have not gone back to Dongxing).

我上车后，就选了一个靠窗的位子坐下。不一会儿一个大概五十岁左右，样子和举止都很斯文有礼的叔叔在我旁边的位子坐下。公车准时在六点钟开出，我望着东兴的街道逐渐远去消失。我在这小镇里暂住了三个月，我不知道将来我会不会重来（一直到2017年的今天，三十九年已过去了，我都没有重回东兴）。

The gentleman sitting next to me and I started a conversation. I don’t remember who took the initiative to talk first. His family name was Xia, so I called him Uncle Xia. He was on an official trip from Gansu province to Dongxing, Nanning, and Hengyang. I told him a big lie, saying that I was from Guangzhou. I said I had just graduated from high school, and came to Dongxing to visit my relatives, and now I am going back to Guangzhou. Uncle Xia listened, smiled, and nodded his head. I asked him if the bus station and train station in Nanning were far from each other, and how would one buy a train ticket to Hengyang, and so on. He told me it was not easy to buy a train ticket at the counter. Some people couldn’t buy a ticket and were stranded at the train station for a long time. When I heard that, I was scared, for this was not going according to plan. I thought that so long as I had the proof of official business trip, plus food coupons and money, I could go anywhere I wanted. I was too naive. Uncle Xia encouraged me not to worry, and said once we reach Nanning, he will use his own proof of official business trip to buy me a train ticket.

我和邻座的叔叔谈起话来，我忘记了是我还是他先主动开口。他姓“夏”，从甘肃出差到东兴、南宁、衡阳。我撒了个弥天大谎，我说我是广州人，刚刚中学毕业后不久就来东兴探望我的亲戚，现在要回广州去。夏叔叔听了，只是微笑点点头。我问他从南宁的公车站去火车站有多远，怎样买火车票去衡阳等等事情。他告诉我火车票不好买，有些人买不到火车票就被滞留在火车站很长的时间。我听了就害怕起来，在我的计划中，我从没计算过这一点。我傻乎乎地以为有了出差证、粮票和人民币就可以通行无阻，我实在太天真了。夏叔叔就安慰我，叫我不用担心，到了南宁他会用他的出差证替我买火车票。

The bus reached Nanning at around two or three o’clock in the afternoon. Uncle Xia walked me from the bus station to the train station, which was very crowded. He told me to wait at a particular corner and not to wander off. Then he went to the ticket counter to buy the tickets. After some time, he came back with two tickets for an overnight train from Nanning to Hengyang which departed at either seven or eight o’clock, I don’t remember exactly. Because it was still early, Uncle Xia took me to a Muslim restaurant, and we had a Muslim meal together. Only then did I know that he was a Muslim. After dinner, we went back to the train station just when it was time to get on the train. Uncle Xia was very kind to me, taking good care of me like an uncle taking care of a niece. He knew that I liked to watch the scenery, so he let me have the window seat. We talked about many things, and I soon realized that his knowledge was very broad, and he understood all the topics I brought up.

公车在下午两、三点左右抵达南宁，夏叔叔带着我去火车站。火车站里人山人海非常拥挤，夏叔叔叫我站在一个角落里，不要乱走，然后他去车票柜台买票。过了一会儿，夏叔叔就顺利地买了两张从南宁到衡阳的车票回来。那是一班夜车，晚上七点或八点开出，我记不清楚了。因为时间还早，夏叔叔带我去一家回民饭店，我们吃了一顿回民菜的饭，那时候我才知道他是个回民（回教徒）。饭后我们回去火车站，时间刚好可以上火车了。夏叔叔很恩慈，他真的仿佛我的亲叔叔一般地照顾我。他知道我喜欢看风景，他就让我坐在靠窗的位子上来看个够。我们继续天南地北地谈话，我发现夏叔叔的知识很广阔，我无论说到什么话题，他都明白了解。

It was deep into the night. The attendant had turned off the lights, and the passengers were falling asleep one by one. I myself had not slept well the night before I left Dongxing because I was too tense. Today I spent the whole day on the bus and the train, so by night time I was very tired. I closed my eyes and fell asleep immediately. When I woke up in the morning, I saw that Uncle Xia was sitting on the corridor floor. He let me take his seat so that I could have two seats and sleep more comfortably. When I saw what he had done for me, I kept on apologizing to him and thanking him. He simply smiled and nodded his head without saying a word.

夜深了，服务员把车厢的灯关掉，乘客们都陆续入睡。我在离开东兴前的晚上就没睡好，因为太紧张了，接着今天一整天地舟车劳顿，到了晚上我已很疲倦，一闭上眼睛就睡着了。第二天清早醒来，我才发现夏叔叔坐在通道的地板上。他把他的位子让给我，好让我有两个位子，可以睡得舒服一点。我连连向他又道歉、又感谢，他只是微笑点点头，并没说什么。

Hunan province is one of the main rice producing regions in China. When the train entered Hunan, from the window I saw huge plots of rice fields; it was very fascinating. Uncle Xia told me that the train was about to arrive at Hengyang. He said that upon arrival, he will need to go to another place, so I will have to buy the train ticket to Guangzhou by myself. When I heard that, I was very scared. Uncle Xia saw that I was scared, and had compassion on me. He encouraged me not to worry, saying that after we reach Hengyang, he will make a phone call to his superior to ask for permission to change his itinerary to go to Guangzhou first, then to his final destination.

湖南是中国的主要产米地区之一。火车进入湖南省后，车窗外面可以看到大片大片绿油油的稻田，令人心旷神怡。夏叔叔告诉我快到衡阳了，他说到了衡阳后，他要去另一个地方，我就要自己买火车票去广州了。我一听就害怕起来，夏叔叔看见我害怕的样子，他又动了怜悯之心。他安慰我不要害怕，他说到达衡阳后，他就打个电话给他的领导，看看可不可以把他的行程改一改，先去广州，然后再转回他本来要去的那个地方。

When the train arrived at Hengyang station, Uncle Xia again told me to wait for him at a corner and not to walk around. He went to make a phone call to his superior. After a while he came back with a big smile saying that he will accompany me to Guangzhou. He again used his official business trip proof to buy two tickets to Guangzhou, and we got on to the train with no difficulty. According to the train schedule, the train is expected to arrive in Guangzhou at around seven o’clock in the evening. I was grateful to Uncle Xia for his care for me, but I had told a big lie to deceive him, and felt ashamed of myself. When the train was approaching Guangzhou, I apologized to him and told him the truth. I wasn’t a student from Guangzhou but a Chinese Vietnamese escaping out of Vietnam. I was going to Guangzhou to look for my uncle. Uncle Xia smiled again and nodded his head, saying, “I knew all along that you didn’t grow up in China, because you are not like the girls in China.”

火车到达衡阳车站后，夏叔叔又叫我站在一个角落，不要乱走，然后他去打电话给他的领导。过了不多时，他满面笑容地回来说可以陪我去广州。他又用他的出差证买了两张去广州的车票，我们顺利地上了火车。按照时间表，火车将于晚上七点到达广州。我心里非常感谢夏叔叔对我的照顾，但我却编造了一个大谎言来欺骗他，我觉得很羞愧。火车快到广州时，我向夏叔叔道歉，我告诉他我骗了他，我不是广州的中学生，我是从越南逃过来的华侨，我去广州找我的舅舅。夏叔叔又是微笑点点头，然后他说：“我早就知道了，妳不是在中国长大的，中国的女孩子不像妳这样的！”

We got off at Guangzhou station. Uncle Xia said goodbye to me and walked away quietly. I haven’t seen him since. This encounter with Uncle Xia has always been in my mind in the past thirty something years. As I get older and experience more things, the more I see that this encounter is amazing and beyond explanation.

我们在广州火车站下车，夏叔叔向我道别，然后他就默默掉头走了。从此以后，我没有再见到他。这三十多年来，与夏叔叔的短暂的交往一直存留在我脑海里。当我年纪越大，阅历越多，我就越觉得这段经历非常奇妙和难以解释。

First of all, why was he willing to help me to this extent? In the journey from Nanning to Hengyang he was willing to guide me and buy me a train ticket. That could still be explained because he was travelling on the same route. After we arrived in Hengyang, he was supposed to go to another place for his official duties, but was willing to change his itinerary to help me. Even his superior allowed him to make the change at the last minute, which was amazing. He helped me out of compassion, not for his own benefit. Is there such a good person in the world? All along he knew that I was lying to him, that I wasn’t a student from Guangzhou but someone of suspicious origin, in which case he should have handed me over to the police. Even if he didn’t have the heart to do such a thing, he should at least have distanced himself from me to avoid implicating himself in case I got caught by the police. Because I didn’t book a train ticket in advance, he used his own official business trip proof to buy me a ticket on the spot.

He seemed to be a person of high standing, but the higher his standing in the country, the more he should have been careful to avoid any trouble that could arise from associating with someone of unknown origin like me. But he was willing to go through a lot of trouble even to the point of asking his superior to change his itinerary in order to accompany me all the way to Guangzhou. That was really beyond comprehension. I know it was again an amazing act of the only true God Yahweh. God used a Muslim to lead me from Dongxing to Guangzhou. Was He giving me a message through this act?

首先，为什么他愿意这样帮助我？从南宁到衡阳那段路程，他愿意带领我和替我买火车票，那还可以理解，因为他也是顺路。到达衡阳后，他本来要去另一个地方出差，却为了我的缘故而临时改变计划。而且他的领导也准许他这样做，那真是不可思议啊！他帮助我是纯粹出于同情心，完全不是为了自己的利益，世界上会有这么好的人吗？既然他早已知道我在撒谎，我不是什么广州的中学生，而是一个来路不明的人，他应该把我交给公安局才对。即使他不忍心这样做，但他应该立刻与我划清界线，不相交往。因为万一我被捕的话，他和我在一起，那很可能会把他也牵连进去。我没有预订火车票，他用他的出差证立刻替我买到车票，不用预订，看来他是个地位蛮高的干部。地位越高的人就越要小心，免得惹上麻烦，所以他应该立刻避开我这种来路不明的人。但是他却大费周章，甚至向领导请求改变行程，千里迢迢地护送我到广州。这确是无法理解！我知道这又是真神雅伟的奇妙作为。但祂使用一个回民（回教徒）来护送我，祂是不是借此向我传达一个重要的信息呢？

Soon after Uncle Xia and I had parted company at Guangzhou, I went around asking people which bus I should take to go to my uncle’s address. Another uncle told me to take Bus 14. When the bus came, I followed the crowd to board it. While the bus was leaving the train station square, the street lights quickly became dimmer and dimmer. In less than one minute, it was completely dark outside.

I was planning to get off when I see the street name of my uncle’s house, but now I couldn’t see a thing. What should I do? It was already past 7 p.m., almost 8 p.m., and if I should get lost at night time, there could be serious consequences. I was very scared, and my hands were shaking.

Suddenly it seemed as if a voice was speaking to me: “Get off now!” I immediately got off the bus. But after I got off, the street was pitch dark and desolate, with no one walking around. I was standing there alone, shaking. Then I saw a dim light far away, and immediately ran towards it. When I stood in front of the light which was coming from a house, I walked up to knock on the door despite the potential danger.

A middle-aged man opened the door, and asked me who I was looking for. I gave him my uncle’s name and asked if he knew him. It turned out that he was my uncle’s colleague from the same work unit, and that my uncle had already told him that his niece will be coming to town soon. That was another unbelievable and amazing incident!

夏叔叔离开后，我就拿着舅舅的地址去问人家要乘哪一路公车去，另外一个叔叔告诉我要乘14号公车。不一会，14号公车来了，我就跟着大家上车。车子离开火车站后，街道上的灯光就迅速暗淡下来了。不到一分钟，车窗外已经是一片黑漆漆地。我本来以为一看到舅舅家的街道，就可以下车，但现在我什么都看不到，那可怎么办？现在是晚上七点多快八点了，如果我迷了路，后果就不堪设想！我越想越害怕，双手都发抖起来了。忽然仿佛有一个声音对我说：“现在下车！”我就立刻下车。但下了车之后，周围一片漆黑，真正是伸手不见五指。街道上渺无一人，只有我独自站在那里发抖。忽然我看见远处有一点微弱的亮光，我就直朝着那点亮光冲过去。当我走到那亮光前，发现原来是一个房子里的灯光。我也豁出去了，不管好人坏人，先敲门再说。有人开门出来，又是一位叔叔，他问我找谁，我告诉他我舅舅的名字，我问他认不认识我舅舅。原来这位叔叔正是舅舅工作单位的同事，而且舅舅早已告诉他有一个外甥女要来了。这又是一件令人难以相信的奇妙的事情！

The man took me to my uncle’s place which was right behind his house. When my uncle and my cousin saw me standing at the door, they were shocked and overjoyed. I told them how I had met Uncle Xia, and how he had brought me all the way to Guangzhou. I told them how I took Bus 14 from the train station to this place, and stumbled upon the house of my uncle’s colleague. They both said it was an extremely dangerous thing for me to do, and I was very lucky. At that time I didn’t understand a lot of things, and thought that I was lucky. But as I get older and become more experienced, I know that everything succeeded not because of luck but because of the grace and compassion of Yahweh, the only true God.

我舅舅的家就在这叔叔的房子的后面，他就带我去舅舅的家。当舅舅和表弟看到我忽然在门前出现，他们又是惊讶又是高兴。我告诉他们我怎样遇上夏叔叔，然后夏叔叔护送我到广州，到达广州火车站后，我乘14号公车到了这里附近下车，接着横冲直撞地撞到舅舅的同事家门口等等事情。他们都说实在太危险了，而我是太幸运了！当时我不知天高地厚，还以为自己真的很幸运，后来我才明白这不是幸运，而是真神雅伟的恩慈和怜悯！

From Guangzhou to the city of Beihai in Guangxi province

从广州到广西省的北海市

I stayed temporarily at my uncle’s place, but I was not a registered resident of Guangzhou. My uncle told me not to worry about it, for he will take care of my registration. Two days later, my sister, my brother-in-law, and their toddler son arrived. Later on, more and more Chinese Vietnamese came to Guangzhou from the border towns, but none of them had a residence permit to stay in Guangzhou. So Guangzhou’s municipal government set up a temporary shelter for them in the district of Sanyuanli. My sister and brother-in-law decided to move to the shelter, but my uncle told me not to move there, but to continue staying at his house.

我在舅舅家里暂住下来，但我是没有户口的。舅舅叫我不用担心，他说他会想办法替我弄到在广州市的户口。过了两天，我姐姐和姐夫也带着他们的小儿子来了。后来，越来越多的越南华侨从边界各城镇来到广州，他们全都是没有户口的，所以广州市政府就在广州的三元里区设立了一个收容所，好让他们暂时居住。姐姐和姐夫决定搬到那个收容所去，但舅舅叫我继续在他家中居住，不要进那个收容所。

I would often visit the temporary shelter to see my sister and brother-in-law. The friends whom we got to know in Dongxing also arrived, one group after another. When we got together, we would obviously talk about our future, and where we might end up. Most of the Chinese Vietnamese from North Vietnam did not come to Guangzhou, but were fishermen who kept their fishing boats with them and stayed in the coastal cities of Guangxi province. On the other hand, many of the Chinese Vietnamese in Guangzhou came from South Vietnam, and were planning to negotiate with these Chinese Vietnamese fishermen to take them to Hong Kong on their fishing boats. At the same time, the Chinese government didn’t want us to stay, and encouraged us to leave China.

我常常去三元里的收容所探望姐姐和姐夫。我们在东兴认识的朋友们也陆续来到了。我们聚在一起就自然而然地谈到自己的前途，将来何去何从等等问题。当时大部分越南北方的渔民华侨都带着他们的渔船留在广西的沿海城镇，没有到广州来。很多在广州的越南南方华侨正在计划去广西找那些渔民商量，大家可以一起乘那些渔船前往香港。中国政府也不希望我们留下来，他们鼓励我们离开中国。

Not long afterwards, my brother-in-law contacted some friends and they made all the arrangements for him, my sister, and their son, to board a boat at Guangxi. I didn’t have money for the trip, so I couldn’t go along with them. I still hadn’t decided whether to leave or to stay in China. I was staying at my uncle’s place, and he loved me very much. On the other hand, I was thinking about my future. I hadn’t forgotten my childhood dream of studying overseas. My uncle loved me, yet he encouraged me to leave China. My uncle and my aunt knew that I didn’t have money, so they gave me a sum of money that they had been saving for years, and told me to look for a way to go out.

不久，姐夫已经联系了几个朋友，并做好了一切安排，所以姐姐和姐夫就带着小儿子前往广西上船。我没有钱付那笔费用，所以我不能同去。当时我也不知道应该留在中国还是离开。我住在舅舅家里，他很疼爱我。但另一方面，我想到自己的前途，我不能忘记从童年以来的出国留学的梦想。舅舅很爱我，但是他也鼓励我要离开中国。舅舅和阿姨知道我没有钱，他们把多年积蓄的一笔钱放在我手里，叫我想办法离开。

My uncle buried my mother’s ashes next to my grandmother’s tomb. My mother’s dream of thirty something years was finally fulfilled when I brought her back to the homeland. Finally she was buried safely in the soil of her homeland. I stood in front of her tomb, and made my mind to leave China, to go overseas to rebuild my shattered future.

舅舅把母亲的骨灰安葬在外祖母的墓地旁边。母亲三十多年的心愿已达成，我已把她带回祖国，现在她安安稳稳地睡在祖国的泥土中。我站在母亲的墓地前，我下定决心要走了，我要去重建那被砸得粉碎的前途。

At the temporary shelter I met some of my old friends from Dongxing. One of them was Aunt Q, a woman in her fifty’s who used to be a businesswoman in Saigon. Her husband had passed away, and her children were staying in the United States and Hong Kong. I brought her back to my uncle’s place for dinner, and he discerned that she was reliable and was experienced in dealing with people in society. He knew that my going to Guangxi to make a deal with the Chinese Vietnamese fishermen would be risky and that I would be easily deceived. He said he would let me go to Guangxi only on the condition that Aunt Q was willing to take me along with her. When I brought her to my uncle’s place for a second time for dinner, he asked her directly whether she would be willing to take me along with her to leave China. She immediately agreed.

我在三元里的华侨收容所找到东兴的旧朋友们，其中有一位五十岁左右的阿姨 （以下简称为Q姨）。她以前在西贡做生意，她的丈夫已去世，儿女们散住在美国和香港。我带她回舅舅家吃饭，舅舅认为她很可靠，而且社会阅历丰富。舅舅知道去广西找那些渔民要冒很大的危险，而且很容易被坏人欺骗。舅舅说如果Q姨愿意带我一块走的话，他才放心让我离开。我第二次带Q姨回家吃饭的时候，舅舅直接问她愿不愿意带着我一块走，她很豪爽地一口答应下来。

Soon Aunt Q was negotiating with some people to arrange a trip to Guangxi. I didn’t understand many things, and just followed her wherever she went. She was very capable, and everything was arranged within a short time. At the end of 1978, in mid-December, I said goodbye to my uncle’s family and journeyed off once again. I had stayed in Guangzhou for around seven mouths. Aunt Q and I, with seven or eight others, all of them friends we got to know in Dongxing, departed from Guangzhou, passing through Jiangmen and Zhanjiang, and finally reached the city of Beihai in Guangxi province.

Q姨立刻带头找人商量，做好去广西的安排，我什么都不懂，只是跟着她跑。Q姨很能干，没多久就安排好一切。1978年底，大概12月中，我向舅舅一家人道别，又再次踏上征途。我在广州一共呆了大概七个月。Q姨和我，另外还有七、八个人，全都是在东兴认识的朋友，大家一起从广州出发，经过江门、湛江，最后抵达广西的北海市。

There were Chinese Vietnamese everywhere in Beihai, and everyone was talking openly about leaving by fishing boat. The Chinese government was aware of our purpose in coming to Beihai, and encouraged us to take the fishing boats to leave China. But we were not allowed to take along any Chinese citizen. Therefore whenever a Vietnamese fishing boat was about to leave, the Chinese government would send police officers to check every passenger’s ID to make sure that everyone was Chinese Vietnamese, and not a Chinese citizen.

在北海市到处都是越南华侨，大家很公开地谈论找渔船出海的事情。中国政府知道越南华侨们来北海的目的是什么，他们也鼓励我们乘船离开中国，但决不能带任何一名中国公民上船。所以每一艘越南渔船离开的时候，中国政府派干部来检查每个人的身份证，要确定每个乘客都是越南华侨，不是中国公民。

Braving the wind and the waves, we sailed to Hong Kong

乘风破浪前往香港

We all stayed at a small inn, and every day Aunt Q and several uncles would negotiate with the fishermen. I and some girls of similar age walked to the harbor to gaze at the sea and to daydream about the future. We stayed in Beihai for around one month. After everything had been arranged, in mid-January 1979 we boarded a Vietnamese fishing boat and left China. Looking back, I arrived in China in mid-February 1978, and left China in January 1979, staying in China a total of eleven months.

我们一行人先在旅馆住下来，Q姨和几位叔叔们每天都出去找那些渔民商量。我和几位年龄相若的女孩子常去海边看海和做梦。我们在北海市住了大概一个月后，一切都安排好了，在1979年1月中，我们上了一艘越南的渔船离开中国。我在1978年2月来到中国，在1979年1月离开，我一共逗留了十一个月。

The fishing boat that we took was primitive, with two sails and no engine. It was operated by a helmsman and two or three sailors who assisted him. There was a total of 23 passengers. The helmsman explained to us that the boat will sail along China’s coast line. The boat will not venture into international waters because it was too small to survive the stormy waves in those waters. He said that the most dangerous segment was the Qiongzhou strait that ran between Guangdong province and Hainan island. Even on sunny days the waves would surge towards the sky, and many boats had gotten into grave danger in that region. He estimated that it would take slightly more than one month to reach Hong Kong. They had sufficient food and water on the boat for around twenty days, but we could sail to the towns along the Chinese coast to buy food and water. He told us to lie on the lower deck and avoid the upper deck because of the strong winds and waves. I didn’t know how to swim, yet the strange thing was that I wasn’t afraid at all, being filled with the same warmth and peace that I had while crossing the China-Vietnam border. The peace filled my heart once again, and I knew with absolute certainty that I will reach Hong Kong safely.

那艘渔船非常简陋，根本没有引擎，就靠两面风帆。渔船由一位船长掌舵，他有两、三个助手帮助他，船上一共有二十三名乘客。船长告诉我们渔船会沿着中国的海岸线行驶，不会进入公海，因为我们的船太简陋了，经不起公海的风浪。他说最危险的是在广东和海南岛之间的琼州海峡，即使在风和日丽的日子，那一带还是海浪滔天，很多渔船就是在那里遇险。船长预计需要一个多月才可以到达香港，船上储备的食物和水只够二十天左右，但我们可以靠近中国沿海的城镇购买粮食和水。他嘱咐我们要在船舱里躺下来休息，不要随便跑到甲板上去，因为风浪很大。我不会游泳，但奇怪的是我一点都不害怕。我在中越边界涉水过河时所经历的那股温暖平安又再次充满了我的心灵，我知道我一定能够平安到达香港。

Our fishing boat would sail by day and anchor by night. The winds and waves were truly strong. Most of the people got seasick and vomited, but I was completely fine. All the way from Beihai to Hong Kong I didn’t vomit once, and was even able to help those who were vomiting badly.

渔船在白天就扬帆航行，晚上就落帆抛锚休息。一路上果然风浪极大，很多人都晕船呕吐了，我却完全没事。从北海一直到香港，我没有吐过一次，当同船的人吐得很严重时，我还去照顾他们。

After sailing a few days, we encountered a Chinese fishing boat that was much bigger than ours, and was equipped with a powerful engine. We told them that our boat was transporting a group of Chinese Vietnamese out of Vietnam, and that we were planning to sail along China’s coast to go to Hong Kong. We asked them about the situation in Qiongzhou strait, and they said it was really turbulent there. Moreover, there was an undercurrent which could pose a great danger to our boat which was small and lacked an engine. Some people in our boat immediately asked them if they would be willing to pull us through the strait with a rope. We asked them to name a price to begin negotiation. The Chinese fishermen were very interested, and after several offers and counter offers, we agreed on the price. These Chinese fishermen and our sailors used several huge ropes to tie the two boats together, with the Chinese fishing boat in front, and our boat being towed behind, as we travelled together towards Qiongzhou strait. Our boat was being pulled, so we lowered the two sails.

船行几天后，我们遇上了一艘中国渔船。那艘船比我们的船大得多，而且装配着强大的引擎。我们坦白地告诉他们，我们是从越南出来的渔船，打算沿着中国的海岸线前往香港。我们询问他们关于琼州海峡的情况，他们说那里不但海浪大，而且有暗流漩涡，我们的船太小，又没有引擎，所以非常危险。我们当中有几个人立刻问他们愿不愿意用缆绳拖着我们过琼州海峡，我们请他们开个价钱出来，大家好斟酌商量。那些渔民听了也很感兴趣，经过一番讨价还价后，双方决定了一个价钱。那些中国渔民和我们的水手用几根粗大的缆绳把两艘船联起来。中国的渔船在前，我们的船在后，向着琼州海峡前进。因为那艘大渔船拖着我们，所以我们把风帆降下来。

After one or two days we were approaching Qiongzhou strait, and both boats anchored. Our sailors and the Chinese fishermen listened attentively to the radio weather forecast to decide which day to sail through the strait. Our helmsman told all of us to stay in the lower deck, and not go to the upper deck where he and his assistants were working. We entered Qiongzhou strait around 8 o’clock in the morning. The waves billowed to the skies, tossing our small boat midair, and then throwing it down. Everyone in the lower deck was vomiting except me. I wasn’t scared at all, which is amazing! I was even running back and forth to take care of the others. Later, when the smell was getting unbearable, I went to the upper deck to breath in some fresh air. I was squatting at a corner of the upper deck, and watching wave after wave coming at us. The big Chinese fishing boat was pulling us forward, braving the winds and the waves. Only then did I truly understand what the Chinese phrase “braving wind and waves” meant. I saw the waves going up and down, one moment lifting the big fishing boat mid-air about two stories high, with our small boat below. The next moment things were reversed: we were tossed mid-air while the big fishing boat was below us. Then we would be thrown down again while the big fishing boat was tossed mid-air. I was not afraid at all, for the same peace and warmth surrounded me and wrapped me with a sense of security. I even took in the magnificence of the scene that is seldom seen in one’s lifetime.

过了一、两天后，我们已接近琼州海峡，两艘船抛锚停下来。我们的船长和那些渔民仔细收听电台的天气预报后，决定了在哪一天过海峡。船长吩咐我们全部躺在船舱里，不要跑到甲板上，只有他和几个助手在甲板上工作。早上大概八点钟左右，我们进入琼州海峡水域。那里果然海浪滔天，我们的小渔船被海浪抛到半空，跟着又被扔下来，船舱里所有人都吐了。奇怪！只有我一人既不吐也不害怕，我还跑来跑去照顾同船的人。后来因为呕吐的气味太难闻，我受不了，我便跑上甲板去呼吸一下清新的空气。我蹲在甲板上的一个角落里，看着浪头一个接着一个打来。中国的大渔船拖着我们破浪前进，那时候我才明白什么叫做“乘风破浪”。我看见海浪一起一伏，有时候大渔船在半空中，有两层楼那么高，我们的小渔船在下面；跟着我们被抛到半空，大渔船在下面；接下来我们又从半空中被扔下来，大渔船又被抛上去。我还是一点都不害怕，那股温暖平安把我稳妥地包裹在里面。我还觉得这情景非常壮观，确是“人生难得一见”。

A few hours later, at around three or four o’clock in the afternoon, we had safely sailed through Qiongzhou strait, and the waves became calm. We fervently thanked the Chinese fisherman for their help, and they eagerly returned home for the Chinese Lunar New Year. It was only then that I realized that it was the Chinese Lunar New Year. Last year, on the second day of the Lunar New Year, at one o’clock early morning, I left my home in Saigon to go up north. One year had since passed, and I didn’t know when I will ever come back to China again.

经过几个小时后，大概下午三、四点钟，我们安全地通过了琼州海峡，海浪平静下来了。我们非常感谢中国渔民们的帮助，他们也高高兴兴地回家过春节。那时我才知道原来春节已到了，去年春节大年初二凌晨一点钟，我离开西贡北上，一眨眼一年已过去，现在又是春节了。我不知道将来什么时候我才重回中国。

Our small boat was sailing slowly towards Hong Kong, but everyone was getting weaker and weaker because they had been vomiting every day. Most of the food they took in had been vomited out. Only I and the helmsman and his assistants were not affected. We were hoping to reach Hong Kong earlier, but our small boat relied on sails; and with the wind against us, we could only sail a short distance every day.

我们的小渔船继续慢慢地向着香港前进，但大家的身体越来越衰弱，因为每天都吐，吃下去的食物大部分都吐出来，只有我和船长跟那些水手们没受到什么影响。我们都希望早点到达香港，但我们的小渔船是用风帆的，碰上逆风的日子，一天只能走一点点的路。

A few days later, we encountered a small boat from South Vietnam. It was even smaller than ours, but it was equipped with an engine. There was only one family on the boat. They had run out of engine fuel, and the boat was floating in the ocean. Their food supply was finished, and they hadn’t eaten for two days. They thought that they would certainly die, and could not imagine that they would run into us. We immediately gave them food. We all felt very excited because having company was the best thing that could happen in the lonely boundless ocean. After they had eaten sufficiently, the sailors from both boats discussed things among themselves and came up with a plan. Because the other boat couldn’t travel after running out of fuel, our boat could pull them to the nearest town to buy fuel and food. Our boat was small, but the other boat was even smaller. Pulling the other boat would slow our sailing considerably, but we only had to travel a short distance, which we believe we would be able to cover. And after they buy enough fuel, it will be their turn to pull us. Their small boat was equipped with a high-powered engine that could tow us to Hong Kong without much problem.

过了几天，我们遇上了一艘从越南南方出来的小船。那艘船比我们的还要小， 但配有引擎，船上只有一个家庭。他们说因为引擎的燃料用尽，船在海面上漂流，船上的食物已吃光，他们已经两天没有饭吃，本来以为必死无疑，万万想不到在绝望的时候却碰上我们。我们立刻把食物送给他们吃，大家都非常兴奋，在茫茫大海中有个同伴是最好的事。等他们吃饱了之后，两艘船的水手商量拟定了一个计划。因为他们没有燃料，不能行驶，我们可以把他们拖到最接近的沿海小镇买燃料和食物。我们的小帆船虽然小，但他们的船比我们的更小，我们拖着他们虽然会更慢，但只是走一点点的路，应该还办得到。等他们买了足够的燃料后，就轮到他们拖着我们前进。他们的小船装备了马力极强大的引擎，拖我们的帆船是绝对不成问题，我们两艘船可以一块驶往香港。

After buying fuel and food from a coastal town, we set off for Hong Kong. The people of both boats wanted to reach Hong Kong as soon as possible after having spent a long time sailing at day and anchoring at night. We didn’t delay further, and decided to have both boats go non-stop day and night, with the sailors taking turns to rest. We estimated that it wouldn’t take more than ten days to reach Hong Kong.

我们在一个沿海小镇买了燃料和食物后，接着就准备向香港进发。本来我们的小帆船是白天行驶，晚上抛锚休息；但现在两艘船的人都想尽快到达香港，不想再拖延了。所以大家决定我们两艘船日夜不停地行驶，水手们可以轮流休息。我们预计应该不用十天的功夫就可以到达香港。

The two boats were tied together to go to Hong Kong non-stop day and night. The engine was very powerful, and we were travelling at relatively high speed. After travelling seven or eight days at high speed, our helmsman told us one afternoon that we had passed Macau, and that we will be reaching Hong Kong in a few hours. The waters between Macau and Hong Kong were very rough, almost as rough as those of the Qiongzhou strait. Even the helmsman’s assistants were vomiting. Only the helmsman and I were not affected. A girl was vomiting blood because her stomach had been damaged by uncontrollable vomiting. She was crying, “I don’t want to live anymore, just let me die!” I encouraged her, “Don’t just think about yourself, think about your father and mother in Vietnam who are waiting for news from you, think about your brothers and sisters in France who are waiting for news from you, think about your boyfriend in Hong Kong who is waiting for news from you. We have already gone through so much danger and suffering, and we will reach Hong Kong in just a few hours. So you must carry on!”

两艘船连在一起日夜不停地向香港前进，因为引擎的马力强大，所以船行速度很快。经过七、八天全速行驶后，在一个下午，船长说我们已过了澳门，还有几个小时就到达香港。但澳门与香港之间的水域海浪很大，跟琼州海峡差不多，连船长的几个助手都呕吐了，唯独船长和我完全不受影响。有一个女孩子吐出血来，因为她吐得太多，她的胃已受了伤。她哭着说：“我不要活了，让我死掉算了！”我鼓励她说：“妳不要只想自己，妳要想想妳的爸爸妈妈在越南等着妳的消息，妳的弟弟妹妹在法国等着妳的消息，妳的男朋友在香港等着妳，多少的危险和苦难我们都熬过去了，现在还有几个小时就到香港了，妳一定要撑下去！”

At around nine o’clock in the evening, a Hong Kong coast guard boat stopped our two boats. We knew that we had reached the territorial waters of Hong Kong, so we all rejoiced, jumping up and down like little children. The Hong Kong coast guards searched the two boats to make sure that there were no weapons or drugs, then they towed our two boats with their huge coast guard boat. Around midnight we reached the piers of Kowloon. We had spent 46 days at sea, setting off from Beihai in January 1979, and finally reaching Hong Kong in mid-February.

在晚上大概九点钟左右，香港的海警船出来把我们两艘船截住。我们知道已进入香港领海了，大家高兴得像小孩子般的欢腾跳跃起来。香港的海警们把两艘船检查一遍，确定了没有武器和毒品，然后他们就用那庞大的海警船拖着我们两艘船前进。大概十二点钟左右，我们抵达九龙码头。1979年1月我们从北海出发，在海上一共行驶了四十六天后，终于在2月中到达香港。

– Chapter 3 –

Wandering In The Wilderness

第三章

徘徊旷野

From the Hong Kong refugee camp soaring up into the sky and flying towards Canada

从香港的难民营一飞冲天前往加拿大

The Hong Kong police put us in an old military camp, the so-called “closed refugee camp” which was guarded by policemen as if it were a prison, since we were not allowed to go out. Living in the “closed refugee camp” were many refugees who had arrived earlier than we. They told us that after staying here for some time, refugees would be transferred to the “open camp” where they would finally be free to go out. Therefore we must never do anything that may annoy the police, and must obey their regulations if we wish to be transferred. The people from our two boats were put in different rooms. At day time, all the refugees would come to the public square to chat. Everyone’s heart was heavy because we didn’t know what the future held for us.

香港的警察把我们送往一个旧军营，那是一个所谓“封闭难民营”。那里有警察看守着，我们不能出外，就像个监牢一般。在那个“封闭难民营”里有很多比我们先到达的越南难民。他们说在这里住一段时间后，就会转到所谓“开放营”，那时就可以自由出外了。所以千万不要惹怒那些警察，要守规矩，那么就可以早点转营。我们两艘船的人分住在不同的房间里，白天我们出来在营地的广场上谈话，大家心里既沉闷又惧怕，不知前途如何。

After staying in the closed refugee camp for around two months, in May 1979 we were transferred to the “open refugee camp” on Lai Chi Kok Road, Sham Shui Po, Kowloon. The Hong Kong government issued a “refugee card” to each of us. It was our temporary ID card. The United Nations would give every recognized refugee a weekly sum of money as living allowance, and the Hong Kong government allowed us to get a job to earn extra money.

我们在“封闭难民营”里住了两个多月后，在1979年5月终于获得转往九龙深水埗荔枝角道的“开放营”。香港政府发给我们每人一张“难民证”，那就是我们在香港期间的临时身份证。联合国每周发给我们每人一笔钱作为生活费，香港政府也准许我们去找工作挣钱。

At that time many foreign electronics companies set up factories in Hong Kong. Because there were so many factories, they couldn’t hire enough workers. Meanwhile, the refugees were coming to Hong Kong one group after another, just at the right time to fill the job vacancies. These electronics companies even visited the refugee camp to recruit workers. After only two or three days, I got a job at the Philips electronics company as an assembly line worker. I worked five and half days a week and was paid thirty-two Hong Kong dollars a day. Every morning the company would send ten big buses to the refugee camp to pick us up and send us to work. We would have our lunch at the company cafeteria, and after work the bus would take us back to the refugee camp. Life was busy but simple. After going through four years of suffering and hardship, I felt that this life was so wonderful!

那时候很多外国的电子公司纷纷在香港设立工厂，因为工厂太多，甚至请不到足够的工人来工作。当时一批又一批的难民来到，正好填满那些空虚的工作岗位。那些电子公司甚至派人员到难民营来聘请工人。两、三天后，我就在 “Philips”电子公司找到一份电子装配员的工作，每周工作五天半，每天工资三十二块港币。早上公司派十辆大巴士（公车）到难民营来接我们去上班，午饭在工厂里吃，下班后又送我们回难民营，生活简单而忙碌。我在饱经四年的忧患之后，这样的生活对我来说是太美好了！

Shortly after we had arrived at the open refugee camp, the United Nations gave each of us an application form. We were to specify which countries we were applying to for residence, and were allowed to name three countries. I chose the United States, Canada, and Australia, all of which are English-speaking countries. When I was in Vietnam, I studied at a Vietnamese school, so my first foreign language was French, and my second was English. I knew very little English; most of my knowledge of English came from self study. I studied English grammar and English vocabulary, but my listening comprehension and speaking ability were almost non-existent. On top of that, I didn’t have any relatives or friends in the United States, Canada, or Australia, so I feared that these three countries may reject my application. In that case, I would have to go through another round of application and start afresh, queuing behind the others. I didn’t know how long I will have to wait before I could be granted residence that would allow me to rebuild my future.

我们到达“开放营”后不久，联合国就派给我们一张申请表，让我们填写自己的意愿要去哪个国家定居，我们可以选择三个国家。我选择了美国、加拿大和澳大利亚，全都是英语国家。我在越南时读的是越文学校，我的第一外语是法文，英文只是我的第二外语。我只懂一点点英文，而且大部分还是我自学的，我自学语法和单词，但听力和对话是完全不行。再加上我没有亲戚和朋友在美国、加拿大和澳大利亚等地，我恐怕这三个国家都不愿意收容我。如果他们不愿意收容我的话，我就要重新填写申请表格，重新排队等候。所以当时我也不知道要等多久才可以找到定居的国家，好让我重建我的前途。

But Yahweh, the only true God, has abundant grace and compassion. The more lowly a person, the greater is God’s care and concern for him or her. Two or three weeks after I had submitted my application, I came back from work one day, and as usual went to the notice board to look for any new announcements. There I saw my name. The Canadian government wanted to interview me on a specific day the following week. Many of those who travelled on the boat with me were wealthier than I, and had better qualifications, yet so far none had received a notice of interview. Aunt Q had several children in the United States who were sponsoring her, yet she still hadn’t had an interview. It had never occurred to me that a nobody like me would be the first to have an interview!

真神雅伟有丰盛的怜悯慈爱，越卑微的人，祂就越加关心照顾。我递上申请表格后，过了两、三周，一天我下班回来，就去难民营的告示板看看有没有新的通告。忽然我看到我的名字在告示板上，原来是加拿大政府要找我去面试了，面试的日期是下周！那些与我同船的人当中，比我富有、条件比我好的人多得很，他们还没接到面试的通知。 Q姨有儿女在美国担保她，她还没去面试。万万想不到我这么卑微的人却是第一个得到面试的机会！

The countries which were accepting refugees had set up offices in the refugee camp. On the day of the interview, early in the morning, I waited at the Canadian government office. All the notices on the wall were in English. I could read some of them but I couldn’t understand the English spoken by the staff. My heart was very nervous, wondering how I could ever pass the interview.

A woman came out to make a roll call. We would take turns to walk into a small room for an interview. When my turn came, I too walked into the small room. A tall and big Canadian man was sitting there, greeting me warmly with a big genial smile without a trace of haughtiness. His assistant was a Hong Kong woman who spoke fluent Cantonese and translated for him and me. He asked me some basic questions pertaining to my family background, my education level, and so on. I didn’t dare ask his name, so to this day I still don’t know his name. The interview was over in less than ten minutes. He gave me an address and told me to go to this place for a medical checkup.

当时那些愿意收容难民的国家都在难民营里设立了办公室。到了面试那天，我一大清早就到加拿大的办公室里等候。墙上的告示全是英文，我看得懂一点点，但是那些工作人员说的英语，我却听不懂。我心里忐忑不安，我想我怎能通过面试呢？时间到了，一位女士拿着一张名单来点名，然后我们逐一进去一个小房间里面试。轮到我了，我进去那个小房间里，有一位很高大的加拿大人在里面，他满面笑容，非常和蔼可亲，很有礼貌地和我打招呼，一点架子都没有。他的助手是香港人，会说流利的广东话。因为我不懂英语，他的助手就当翻译。他问了一些基本的问题，例如家庭情况，学历等等。我不敢问他的名字，所以一直到今天我都不知道他的名字。面试不到十分钟就结束了，他交给我一个地址，叫我按地址去做身体检查。

I went back to my room, and my roommates asked me how the interview went. I told them that the interviewer had asked me to go for a medical checkup, and that I didn’t know what would be next. All my roommates said, “It’s a good sign when he asks you to go for a medical checkup, because it means that he wants to accept you. If he didn’t want to accept you, he won’t have arranged a medical checkup.”

我回到房间里，室友们问我面试的情况，我说那位面试人员叫我去做体检，我不晓得他下一步是什么。室友们都说：“这是好事啊，他叫妳去做体检就是打算要收容妳了，如果他不想收妳的话，他才不会让妳去做体检！”

With the hospital address I went for a medical checkup (I forget which hospital). On the day of the checkup, I was coughing badly because I was recovering from a flu. I thought that this will ruin things for me, and I won’t pass the examination. The hospital staff told me that they will send the results directly to the Canadian consulate.

我按着地址去一家医院做身体检查（我忘记了是哪一家医院）。那天我咳嗽的很凶，因为我害感冒刚痊愈，我想这下子可糟糕了，我一定不能通过了！医院方面说他们会把体检的结果直接寄给加拿大领事馆。

After one or two weeks, a notice was posted at the refugee camp’s notice board saying that the Canadian office wants to see me for a second interview. I didn’t know what the results of the medical checkup were like. But because anxiety doesn’t solve anything, I decided to let go of the anxiety and just focus on the interview. I saw that genial Canadian again. This time he didn’t ask me any questions, but started a casual conversation with me. He said he came from Ottawa, the capital of Canada, and that he might see me there in the future. I was at a loss, not understanding what the statement might mean. He laughed and said, “Congratulations! You are going to Ottawa, Canada, very soon!” I got a shock and couldn’t say a word. Things were happening too fast, too smoothly. “Is it for real? Am I dreaming?” He smiled and said, “You have to start packing now because you will be leaving very soon.” I was so happy that I forgot to thank him. At the end of the interview, he said goodbye to me with his heavily accented Cantonese; it turned out that he could speak some Cantonese after all.

大概过了一、两周，难民营的告示板上又有通告出来，加拿大的政府人员找我去作第二次面试。我不知道体检的结果是好是坏，反正担心也担心不来，倒不 如放开胸怀地去做面试吧！我又见到那个很和气的加拿大人，这次他不问我问题，他跟我聊天。他说他是从加拿大首都渥太华来的，将来他可能会在渥太华再碰到我。我不明白这句话是什么意思，我有点不知所措。他笑着说：“恭喜妳了，妳快要去加拿大的渥太华了！”我被吓了一跳，目瞪口呆地说不出话来。事情来得太快，太顺利了，这是不是真的？我是在做梦吗？他微笑对我说：“妳要收拾行李了，妳很快就要走了。”我高兴得什么都忘记了，连感谢都没说一声。面试结束前，他用生硬的广东话跟我说再见，原来他懂一点点广东话！

I started packing my things, yet I was still working for the electronics company. Then I saw my sister, my brother-in-law, and their son at the refugee camp. They had arrived in Hong Kong much earlier than I, but had been kept in the closed refugee camp for half a year, and was transferred to the open camp in Sham Shui Po only recently. I told them that I had been accepted by the Canadian government, and will be going to Canada soon.

我一边继续在电子工厂上班、一边准备行装的时候，我在难民营里碰到我姐姐、姐夫和他们的孩子。他们到达香港比我早多了，但他们在“封闭营”里呆了半年，才刚刚获准转来深水埗的“开放营”。我告诉他们我已获得加拿大政府收容，我快要去加拿大的首都渥太华了。

A week after that second interview, there was a statement on the notice board telling me to prepare to fly to Canada the coming Friday. I felt I was in a dream, yet going to Canada was now no longer an illusion. I was the first of all the people in our two boats to leave Hong Kong. The next day I went to my company to resign from my job. I had been working there for about two months, and had saved up some money with which I bought a suitcase, clothing, and some articles for daily use.

第二次面试后一周，告示板有通告出来说我在下周五就要上飞机前往加拿大了。我有点如梦如幻的感觉，我真的要去加拿大了。在我们两艘船里，我是第一个离开香港的人。第二天我回去工厂辞职。我工作了大概两个月左右，也积蓄了一点点钱，我就用那些钱来买行李箱，衣服和日常生活用品等等。

The Canadian government sent a Canadian Air Force airplane that had flown into Hong Kong from Ottawa to pick us up. On July 27th 1979 early in the morning, the Canadian who interviewed me came to the refugee camp with several assistants. They collected our refugee cards, and we all got on a big bus to go to Hong Kong’s military airport.

In total I had stayed in Hong Kong for slightly more than five months. Yahweh, the gracious True God, allowed me to stay here to recuperate from physical and mental exhaustion. Then the time came for me to go on yet another journey, this time flying to Canada to rebuild my future.

加拿大政府派了一辆加拿大空军飞机从渥太华飞到香港来接我们。1979年7月27 日清早，那位给我面试的加拿大人和几个助手来到难民营，他们收回我们的难民证，然后我们登上一辆大巴士（公车）前去香港的军事飞机场。我在香港逗留了五个多月，慈爱的真神雅伟让我在这里休息一下我疲惫的身心，然后我再踏上征途，飞往加拿大去重建我的前途。

The plane took off at eight o’clock in the morning, and stopped at Japan and Alaska before landing in Vancouver, Canada. A group of refugees who were to settle in Vancouver got off the plane. After stopping for around half an hour, the plane took off again, reaching Toronto after flying around six hours. Everyone got off at the Toronto airport. The government of the city of Toronto had arranged to pick up those refugees who were to settle in Toronto, whereas the Immigration Department arranged for the rest of us, including myself, to stay at the airport hotel. It was eight o’clock in the evening, local time, July 27th 1979. After flying for 24 hours, we rested at the airport hotel for one night. The next morning, after getting up, we had breakfast at the hotel restaurant. After that we were divided into two groups; one group flew to Ottawa, the other to Montreal.

飞机在上午8点钟起飞，经过日本、阿拉斯加，然后降落在加拿大的温哥华市。一批要在温哥华定居的难民下了飞机，我们的飞机停留了大概半个小时后又再起飞。经过六个小时的飞行后，我们到达多伦多，所有的难民都下了飞机。多伦多市政府来迎接那些要在多伦多定居的难民，而其余的难民就由移民局安排送去机场旅馆休息。多伦多时间是晚上8点钟，那是1979年7月27日，我们已飞行了二十四个小时。我们在旅馆休息一晚后，第二天早上起来，在旅馆的餐厅吃过早餐后，我们分成两批：一批飞往渥太华，另一批飞往蒙特利尔。

Moving from Ottawa to Toronto

从渥太华迁到多伦多

The flight from Toronto to Ottawa was very short, and in less than an hour we arrived at Ottawa, the capital of Canada. The government put us in a downtown hotel named Bytown, where I stayed at the top floor.

这一段从多伦多到渥太华的飞行很短，大概不到一小时我们就到达加拿大的首都渥太华了。政府安排我们住在市中心的一家名叫 “Bytown” 的酒店里，我住在顶楼。

The government took very good care of us. Waiting for us in the hotel were several Vietnamese refugees who had arrived earlier than we. Since they could speak English, the Immigration Department had hired them to be our translators. They told us that Ms. Marion Dewar, the mayor of Ottawa, had started a project called “Project 4000,” to promote her plan to accept 4000 Vietnamese refugees into Ottawa. Many politicians in Canada opposed her project, saying that Ottawa was not a big commercial city like Toronto, and lacked the resources to absorb so many refugees. Many of Ms. Dewar’s political rivals made use of this incident to attack her. But she refused to back down, and met with community leaders and religious leaders to ask them to support the project. In the end, all these organizations were willing to give their support and even their concrete help. Only then did Ms. Dewar’s political rivals stop attacking her. After hearing of this, I was very touched. I am grateful to Ms. Dewar, a loving, caring, capable, and respectable stateswoman. She had served as the mayor of Ottawa from 1978 to 1985, and passed away on September 16th 2008 at the age of 80. Project 4000 became a most successful project and was enthusiastically discussed by the people in Ottawa.

政府对我们照顾得很周到，在酒店里早已有几位比我们先到的越南难民等着。因为他们会说英语，所以移民局聘请他们当我们的翻译。他们说渥太华的市长Marion Dewar女士发起了一个“4000方案”，她打算收容4000名越南难民来渥太华。当时加拿大很多政界人士都反对她这个方案，他们认为渥太华并不是像多伦多那样的商业大城市，没有能力吸收那么多难民。当时Dewar女士的政敌们就借此来抨击她。但Dewar女士毫不气馁，她和各个社区团体和宗教组织的领导会晤商谈，请求他们拥护这个方案。结果各个团体都热烈支持并愿意提供帮助，后来Dewar女士的政敌们才缄默了。我听了这段话后，心里非常感动，我感谢Dewar女士，这位有爱心、有魄力、可敬的政治家。Dewar女士从1978 至1985年任渥太华市长，她在2008年9月16日去世，享年80岁。时至今日，“4000方案”成为渥太华市最成功、最为人津津乐道的方案。

The government gave each of us sixty dollars per week as living allowance. Every week there were new arrivals of refugees into Ottawa, but the government didn’t have enough manpower to take care of us. So they asked the Catholic church and the Protestant churches for people to help out with the work, with all expenses paid by the government.

政府每周发给我们每人六十块钱作为生活费。因为每周都有一批难民来到渥太华市，政府没有足够的人员来照顾我们，所以他们请求天主教会和基督教会派出人员来帮忙，一切费用由政府负责。

The churches received from the government a list of the refugees, and they visited the hotels where the refugees were staying. One day several Christians knocked on my door, and gave me a lot of help. At that time I didn’t speak English. I could only say, “Hello, how are you? Fine, thank you.” Because I didn’t speak English, I had to rely on them for translation. They brought us to various places to look for an apartment to rent. After around one month, three other girls and I rented an apartment to share together.

各个教会向政府要了一份难民名单，他们来到难民居住的各酒店探访。一天有几位基督徒来敲我的房门，他们给了我很大的帮助。那时候我不懂英语，我只懂得说：“Hello, how are you? Fine, thank you.” 因为我不懂英语，我常常要倚靠他们替我翻译，他们带着我们到处去找房子。大概一个月后，我和另外三个女孩子一起合租了一间公寓。

The government arranged for us to take English lessons, while the Christian friends invited us to attend their church meetings. At that time I didn’t believe in either Yahweh God or the Lord Jesus Christ, yet it was hard for me to decline the invitation from these Christian friends because they had given us so much help. So when I had the time, I would attend the church meeting, but if I had other things to do, I would not go.

政府安排我们去上英语课，那些基督徒朋友也来邀请我们去教会。那时候我完全不相信雅伟神和主耶稣基督，不过因为那些基督徒朋友们给我的帮助太多了，当他们邀请我去教会的时候，我很难拒绝他们。所以当我有空的时候，我也会去教会走走，但是一旦有其他的事情，我就不去了。

After I had taken English lessons for two months, my teachers said that I had sufficient ability in English to look for a job. With help from the Department of Manpower, I found a job as an assembler of electronics components at a high-tech company. This was the company that made the space arm for the American space shuttle, and the job requirements were correspondingly high. Every electronic component was so small that one needed a microscope to see it clearly. Every day I had to look through the microscope to solder the components together. To be frank, I didn’t like this job because I was afraid that this kind of work will damage my eyes and ruin my future. I was planning to work for one or two years to save up some money, while continuing my English studies and taking grade 13 courses to prepare to apply for university. If my eyes got damaged, my future would be ruined.

Therefore, right from day one, I didn’t put my heart into my work, and the outcome was predictable. After around one month, I was fired. It was totally my fault, and had nothing to do with other people. But at least I had earned one month’s salary, a few hundred Canadian dollars, so it was not all that bad!

我上了两个月的英语课后，老师们认为我的英语程度已足够去找工作了。靠着政府的Manpower（人力）部门的帮忙，我在一家高科技的电子公司中找到一份电子零件装配员的工作。那家电子公司制造美国的太空船上的 “太空手臂”（space arm），所以要求很高。每个零件都很微小，要用显微镜才可以看得清楚，每天我要透过显微镜来焊接那些零件。坦白说我不喜欢这份工作，因为我怕这样下去我的眼睛会被损坏，那么我就完蛋了。我打算先打一、两年工，积蓄一点钱，同时继续学习英文和修读加拿大中学的第十三年级的课程，准备申请大学。如果我的眼睛坏了，我的前途也就没了。所以打从第一天开始我就没有好好地努力去做，后果是可想而知！大概一个月后，我就被革职了。这完全是我的错，与任何人无关。但我还是赚了一个月的工资，有几百块加币，蛮不错了！

After I had lost my job, I again went to the Department of Manpower for help. But after one month I still couldn’t get a job. I was relying on my one month’s salary to cover my living expenses, and when the money was running low, my heart was getting more and more anxious. I didn’t have anyone to whom I could pour out my heart. My mother had passed away, my father was still in Vietnam, the three girls staying with me were as poor as I, and couldn’t help me at all.

In my fear and anxiety, I thought about God. I remembered that my Christian friends would pray very often. They would pray when they encountered difficulties, but also when they were happy. I felt that I could also pray to God for help, so I prayed for the first time. Not knowing how to pray, I just poured out all my anxieties to God, telling Him that I was very afraid, and that I needed Him to help me.

失业后，我又去Manpower（人力部门）请他们帮忙我找工作。但过了一个月，我还是找不到工作。每天就靠那一个月的工资来吃饭，钱越来越少，我心中也越来越担忧。我不知道向谁诉说，母亲已去世，父亲还在越南，那三个和我一起住的女孩子也和我一样的穷，她们也帮不了我的忙。在彷徨害怕中，我想到了神。我想起教会中的那些基督徒朋友常常祷告，他们有困难时就祷告，快乐时也祷告。我想我也可以试试祷告求神帮助我，那是我第一次向神祷告。我也不懂得祷告要说些什么，我只把心中所有的担忧全部向神倾吐出来，我告诉祂我很害怕，我求祂帮助我。

Some of my friends had told me that it was much easier to find a job in Toronto because it was the commercial center of Canada where many businesses and industries were flourishing. I wondered if I should go to Toronto to look for a job, but I was afraid to go to an unfamiliar city by myself. So I asked God to show me the right way to go about it.

有些朋友告诉我在另外一个城市多伦多市找工作就容易多了，因为多伦多是加拿大的商业中心，工业和商业都发达。我想我是否也应该去多伦多找工作呢？但是单独一个人去一个完全陌生的城市，我又害怕。所以我祷告求神指示我该走的道路。

A few days later, a Vietnamese refugee came from Toronto to Ottawa to visit his friends. When I heard that he was from Toronto, I asked him whether it was easy to find a job in Toronto. He said, “It is very easy to find a job. There are lots of factories there. So long as you don’t mind having a low salary and are willing to work hard, you can find a job in one or two days.” After hearing this, I decided to give Toronto a try.

过了几天，有一个越南难民从多伦多来到渥太华探望朋友。当我听说这个人来自多伦多，我就问他在多伦多好不好找工作。他说：“在多伦多找工作非常容易，那里工厂很多，只要你不嫌工资低，又肯吃苦，你可以在一、两天内就找到工作。”听完了这番话后，我决定去多伦多试试看。

I had friends in Toronto, including a family who had escaped on the same boat with me. Usually the friends who travelled on the same boat as refugees would be close to one another just like in a family, because we were truly living and dying together, going through thick and thin together. I called them up and asked if I could stay at their place for a few days. They welcomed me in. So at the beginning of 1980, I left Ottawa to look for a job in Toronto.

我有好些朋友在多伦多，其中有一个家庭是和我同一艘船逃出来的。通常同一艘船出来的朋友都犹如一家人一般的，因为大家曾经同生共死，患难与共。我就打电话去问他们我可不可以在他们家中暂住几天，他们都很欢迎我去。在1980年初我离开渥太华去多伦多找工作。

Working by day, studying by night

白天打工晚上读书

It was really easy to find a job in Toronto, and within one day I found a job in a small factory. Even though I got only minimum wage, three dollars an hour, it was sufficient to cover my expenses. After getting the job, I rented a room, and everything settled quickly. I started to look for an evening school to study English. My life was busy but stable. But I stopped going to church, having forgotten about God’s help.

在多伦多找工作真的很容易，不到一天我就在一家工厂找到一份工作。虽然只是最低工资，三块钱一小时，但还是够用。找到工作后，我就去租房间，生活很快就安顿下来。我开始找夜校读英文，我的生活安定而忙碌。我又不去教会了，我已完全忘记了神的帮助。

The Ontario Department of Education requires students to have the grade 13 certificate before applying for university. I was planning to take the grade 13 courses at evening classes, but very few evening schools offered grade 13 courses, and those few were located in the suburbs very far from my place. The winter in Toronto is very cold, with night temperatures sometimes dropping to ‑20° or -25°. Most of the people living in the suburbs of Toronto would travel by car in the evening; few would walk or take public transport. I didn’t have a car, and I wouldn’t want to spend money on one even if I could, for I had to save every penny for my future university expenses. Given the situation, it was very hard for me to take grade 13 courses at an evening school.

根据当时加拿大安大略（Ontario）省教育部的规定，学生要有第十三年级的证书才可以申请大学。我打算去夜校读第十三年级，但是只有很少数的夜校中学开办第十三年级的课程，而那些学校都是在郊区，离我住的地方很远。多伦多的冬天很冷，晚上的温度会下降到零下二十或零下二十五度。在郊区冬天晚上大多数人都驾车，很少人乘公车或走路。我没有车，也不想花钱买车，我要把每一分钱都存下来准备将来上大学。在这种情况下我很难去夜校读第十三年级。

I was thinking hard to come up with a way to take grade 13 courses, when suddenly I remembered that when I was in Ottawa, one day I visited the pastor of the church, and saw in his office a booklet about Canadian primary and secondary level correspondence education. I was overjoyed and hopeful when I remembered this, because education by correspondence could be a way for me to take grade 13 courses. I immediately looked up the address of the Ontario Correspondence Education Department, and sent in a letter to request an application form. I didn’t dare phone them up because I didn’t speak fluent English, but at least I could write a letter. After one or two weeks I received an application form from the correspondence school. This course was free of charge, with a straightforward registration process: simply fill up the form and send it back to them.

我绞尽脑汁要想个办法去读第十三年级，突然我想起当我还在渥太华的时候，有一天我去见教会的牧师，在他的办公室里，我看到一本关于加拿大函授中学和小学课程的书。一想起这一点，我喜出望外，函授课程正是我唯一可以读第十三年级的办法。我立刻找出安大略省函授教育机构的地址，我写了一封信去申请。我不敢打电话去，因为我的英语说得不流利，但写英文我还可以。大概一、两个星期后，我收到函授学校寄来的申请表格。这个课程是完全免费的，登记的手续非常简单，我只要把表格填好，然后寄回去给他们。

I ended up taking four courses in mathematics, one in physics, and one in chemistry. The school sent me notebooks, envelopes, and experiment kits; all were free of charge except the textbooks, which I had to purchase. Each course had a teacher assigned to it, and if there was anything I didn’t understand, I could write the teacher.

After completing one lesson, I would do an assignment and send it to the teacher for marking. And after completing all the lessons of a course, I would take an examination. I was not allowed to write the exam at home but only at the correspondence school. If I passed the exam I would get one credit. Six credits from grade 13 courses are required for applying for university admission.

我选读了四科数学、一科物理、一科化学。学校寄给我笔记本、信封，还有做实验的用具，这些都是免费的，但我要自己付钱买教科书。每一科有一个老师，如果有不明白的地方，我可以写信问老师。读完了一课就要做习题，寄去给老师批改。当我完成了一科所有的课本，就要考试。我不可以在家里考，我要去函授学校考试。如果我考试通过了，就得到一个学分（credit）。申请大学需要六个第十三年级的学分。

I worked at the factory by day, and studied the grade 13 courses at home in the evening. My English was still bad, so there were many words and terms in the textbooks which I didn’t understand. I had to consult my dictionary all the time, which slowed my study progress. Every night I would study up to one or two o’clock after midnight, yet I still had to get up at six o’clock in the morning to go to work. Every day I was very tired and didn’t get enough sleep. I got sufficient sleep only during the weekends. I was studying the grade 13 courses very hard while working with all my energy to make a living. In this kind of situation I had an excuse not to go to church.

白天我在工厂打工，晚上在家里自学十三年级的课程。那时我的英文还是很差，在课本里有很多词语我不懂，我要不断地查字典才可以学习，所以我读得很慢。每个晚上我都读书到凌晨一、两点才睡觉，第二天一大清早六点钟我就要起床去上班。每天我都很疲倦，每天我都睡眠不足，只有在周末我才可以睡个够。我就这样一边努力读十三年级的函授课程，一边拼命打工维持生活。在这种情况下我有最好的不去教会的借口。

The nationwide postal strike

全国邮政工人罢工

After one year, I finished six grade 13 courses, and was preparing to apply for university. I had saved up some money for this, and because I had been working for one and half years, I was eligible to apply for a student grant from the government. Even though it was easy to find a job in Toronto, I didn’t like this bustling and busy city, preferring the serenity and beauty of Ottawa. I missed Ottawa a lot, so I decided to go back there and apply to the University of Ottawa.

一年后我完成了十三年级的六个学分，我就准备申请大学。我已积蓄了一笔钱，而且我工作了一年半，我有权申请政府的助学金。虽然在多伦多很容易找到工作，但我不喜欢这个繁华热闹的城市，我比较喜欢渥太华的优雅宁静。我很怀念渥太华，所以我决定回去，我申请了渥太华大学。

In the summer of that year, 1981, the Canadian postal workers went on strike nationwide. Before I could receive the examination results for the chemistry course which was my last course, all postal delivery had stopped. At that time there was no such thing as email or a document scanner, so all paper documents were sent by post. Without the postal service, you couldn’t do anything. Because of the seemingly intractable nature of the strike, many private delivery companies had emerged, but that was of no use to me because I hadn’t even received my examination results. So how could I send it to the University of Ottawa?

偏偏那一年（1981年）的夏天加拿大全国邮政工人大罢工。我最后一科化学的成绩表还没收到，邮递工作就全部停顿了。那时候没有Email （电邮），也没有scanner（扫描器），一切文件都要邮递寄去，没有邮政就什么都办不来。很多私人的邮递服务应运而生，但我连最后一科的成绩表都还没收到，又拿什么寄去渥太华大学呢！

I was anxious and indignant, not knowing what to do, since no one could help me. Then I remembered God. In my one and half years in Toronto I didn’t go to church, but when I ran into a problem I would come before God to ask for help again. So once again I poured out to God all the indignation and anxiety in my heart, asking Him to end the strike early so that I could receive my examination results and send it to University of Ottawa. If I miss the application deadline, I would have to wait another year.

我又着急又气愤，不知怎么办才好，谁都帮不了我。忽然我想起了神，在多伦多一年半我没有去教会，现在有困难我又来求告神。我再次把心里所有的气愤和彷徨都向神哭诉出来，我求祂使那场罢工早点结束，让我可以及时收到成绩表，然后寄去渥太华大学，如果错过了申请的期限，我就要多等一年。

Nothing happened after the prayer, and the postal strike didn’t end. I eventually accepted the reality of waiting an extra year if I couldn’t go to university this year. In any case, my studies had been delayed again and again for many years; another delay of one year was no big deal. I started to complain to God and questioned His fairness, since I had to work so hard to make a living, yet at the same time I had to study hard on my own. I felt that He didn’t want to help me. But of course I felt that way only because I had forgotten how many times He had help me in the past.

祷告完了也不见有什么效果，邮政工人的罢工还是迟迟不结束。最后我想就接受现实吧，如果今年上不了大学，就等下一年好了。反正我的学业都被延迟了那么多年，再延迟多一年也没什么大不了。我开始埋怨神，我埋怨祂不公平，我这么努力地一边打工一边自学读书，祂都不愿意帮助我。以前多少次神给我的帮助，我全都忘记了。

The postal strike carried on for many weeks until the labor demands were finally met, and the postal workers returned to work. I finally received my chemistry exam results from the correspondence school. Irrespective of whether the deadline for application had passed or not, I decided to send the results to the University of Ottawa with a letter to explain to them the reasons for the delay, and see whether they would be lenient enough to accept my application. While I was preparing the documents, and before I could send them out, the next day when I came home from work, I received a letter from the University of Ottawa. I looked at the letter, but didn’t dare open it. I thought that it was the end for me; the University was probably informing me that it was too late, for the deadline had passed. After a few minutes I summoned all my courage and opened the letter. I took a look and almost fainted, for the University of Ottawa had accepted me, this being a letter of acceptance. I couldn’t believe my eyes, and looked at the letter more carefully. The university not only accepted me, but granted me an admission scholarship of one thousand dollars, just enough to cover my first year’s tuition.

邮政工人罢工了很多个星期，最后他们的要求达到了，才愿意复工。我终于收到函授学校寄来的化学科的成绩表。我想不管是否已过了申请期限，还是照样把所有的成绩表连同一封信寄给渥太华大学，向他们说明延迟的原因，看看他们肯不肯网开一面录取我。我正在准备所有的文件，还没有寄出去，第二天我下班回家就受到一封渥太华大学寄来的信。我望着那封信，我不敢打开。我想完蛋了，一定是渥太华大学来信说太迟了，已过了申请期限。过了几分钟，我才鼓起勇气，打开了那封信。一看之下，我差点晕倒过去，渥太华大学已录取了我，那是一封录取通知书。我不能相信自己的眼睛，我再仔细看看，大学不但录取了我，还给了我一千块钱的入学奖学金，刚刚够我第一年的学费。

It turned out that the correspondence school had sent all the examination results on my behalf to the University of Ottawa, and the university had accepted me. They were just waiting for the postal strike to end before sending me the acceptance letter. During the strike, the correspondence school made a special arrangement, maybe through a private delivery service, to send my results to the University of Ottawa. Private courier services are not cheap, and I wasn’t anyone important, just a poor working student. So why was the correspondence school willing to go through all the trouble for such a lowly person? Isn’t it amazing?

原来函授学校替我把所有的成绩表寄过去了，渥太华大学决定录取我之后，只等罢工结束就把录取通知书寄来给我。在邮政罢工期间，函授学校要作出特别安排，可能是透过私人邮递公司，才可以把我的成绩表寄给渥太华大学。私人邮递服务的价格可不便宜啊，我不是什么重要人物，我只不过是一个贫穷的工人学生，为什么函授学校愿意为了一个这样卑微的人而大费周章呢？这不是太奇怪吗？

Only after I had come to know Yahweh our God and Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ, did I realize that this was the wonderful work of Father God. It was He who worked in the hearts of the staff at the correspondence school, such that they were willing to make arrangements to send my exam results to the University of Ottawa. At that time I asked God to end the strike, but it was still dragging on after many weeks. I thought that God didn’t want to help me, and I complained to Him. He not only listened to my prayer, but granted me far more than what I asked. Abba Father Yahweh, why do You love me so much? I don’t deserve this!

后来我认识了雅伟父神和主耶稣基督之后，我才明白这是父神大能的作为。祂在函授学校的行政人员心里动工，使他们乐意为我作出安排，把我的成绩表寄给渥太华大学。那时候我恳求神使那场罢工早点结束，但是罢工还是延长了很多个星期。我以为神不愿意帮助我，我还埋怨祂。其实祂不但垂听了我的祷告，而且祂赐给我的还好过我所求的。阿爸父雅伟，为什么袮这么爱我？我不配！

The University of Ottawa

渥太华大学

Late August 1981, two years after I had arrived in Canada, I packed my belongings to go back to Ottawa to begin my university studies. When I was attending secondary school in Vietnam, I resolved to become a physicist, but after have gone through all the sufferings, my thinking had become more realistic. It was hard to find a job in physics, so I decided to choose a major that could help me find a good paying job in the future. I chose computer science.

1981年8月底，我抵达加拿大两年后，我收拾行李返回渥太华上大学。以前在越南读中学的时候，我立志要成为物理学家，但经历了这么多苦难后，我的想法也变得现实了。物理学的工作並不好找，现在我只想读一门将来能找到高薪工作的学科，所以我选读了电脑科学 (Computer Science).

During my one and half years in Toronto, I didn’t go to church, but now, after coming back to Ottawa I remembered the pastor and my friends in the church who had helped me so much in the past. So I went back to the church again.

My university studies were very heavy, and my English was still not good. In the beginning I didn’t understand what the professors were saying. I had to go home to study the textbooks by myself. I had to spend more time than my classmates in studying. As a result, I was willing to go to church only when I was not busy, but when I was busy I would skip church. This kind of situation carried on until 1983, when I was in my second year. One Sunday the pastor asked me if I had ever thought of becoming a Christian. I was stunned. I didn’t want to think about it, for I didn’t want to commit my life to God.

在多伦多一年半我没有去教会，但回到了渥太华后，我想起牧师和教会的那些朋友，以前他们都帮了我很多忙，所以我又再回到教会。大学的功课很繁重，而且我的英文不大好，刚开始的时候，我不大听得懂教授的讲解，我要回家自己看书，我比我的同学要花更多的时间来学习。所以只有当我不是太忙的时候，我才愿意去教会，一忙起来我又不去了。这种情况一直延续到1983年，我读大学二年级的时候。在一个星期日，牧师问我有没有想过要成为基督徒。我很惊愕，我不愿思考这个问题，那时候我还是不愿意把自己的生命交托给神。

Actually, in my heart I did believe that in the unseen spiritual world, there is a God. I reflected on this from the time I left my home in Vietnam to the time I arrived in Canada, a time span during which I had gone through much danger and hardship. If there was no God who controls everything and protects me, I would have died. I was naive and ignorant, so even if I hadn’t died, I could easily have gone on the wrong track in life such that any talk of going to university would be irrelevant. After I had arrived in Canada, I still had to rely on God’s help, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to finish the grade 13 correspondence courses in one year. Since childhood I had always been prone to illness. Even though my mother would take very good care of me, I would still fall sick very often. All along my parents were afraid that I might die young. When I was in Toronto, I worked in the factory during the day and studied at home in the evening, and got only around five hours of sleep every night. I was living by myself with no one taking care of me, yet the strange thing was that I didn’t get any serious illnesses, the worst being just a cold, from which I recovered in one or two days. I was aware of my health situation, so I have nothing to boast about. Even though at that time I wasn’t willing to commit my life to God, I had to admit that in the unseen spiritual world there was a mighty God who was protecting me.

其实我心中也相信在冥冥之中确是有一位神。我回想从我离家一直到我抵达加拿大，我经历了多少危险困难，如果没有一位掌管着一切的神在保护着我，恐怕我早已死掉了。那时候我又天真又无知，即使不死，恐怕我早已走上歧途而堕落了，还说什么上大学。到了加拿大后，我还是要倚靠神的帮助，否则我绝不能在一年内完成第十三年级的函授课程。我从小体弱多病，虽然母亲很细心地照顾我，我还是常常生病，我的父母一直担心我会少年夭折。我在多伦多的时候，白天在工厂打工，晚上在家里读书，每个晚上大概只睡五个小时左右。我自己一个人住，没有人照顾我，但奇怪的是我没有患重病，最多也只是患伤风感冒，一两天就痊愈了。我知道自己的身体情况，我完全不能夸口。虽然那时候我不愿意把生命交托给神，但我也承认冥冥之中有一位大能的神在保护着我。

If that is the case, why wasn’t I willing to commit my life to God? Because I was wrestling with two questions in my heart.

既然这样，那为什么我又不愿意把自己的生命交托给神呢？因为那时候我心中有两个疑问。

The first question was whether God really loved me. Does He really love all human beings? The Bible says that God loves the world, but I thought that He was not a fair God, and that He loved the people in the Western countries more that the people in Asia and Africa. People in the Western countries were living a comfortable life, but those living in Vietnam had to risk their lives to escape from the country. My mother had been longing for more than thirty years to be reunited with her family, but at the end she died in despair. Even after I arrived in Canada, I still had to go through a lot of hardship in order to go to university, but my classmates didn’t have to worry about anything. I felt that this was unfair! I didn’t want to commit my life to an unfair God. Although I had experienced much of God’s grace and love, yet I went so far as to say that He was unfair, that was how stupid and ungrateful I was.

第一个疑问就是神真的爱我吗？祂真的爱每个人吗？圣经说神爱世人，但我总是觉得神不公平，我认为神爱西方国家的人多过爱亚洲、非洲等地的人。西方人生活得那么舒服，而我们在越南的人却要冒着生命危险才能逃出来。母亲三十多年来日夜盼望着能够和亲人团聚，最后却是含恨而终。我到了加拿大之后还是历尽千辛万苦才能上大学，但我的同学们却什么都不用管。真是太不公平啊！我不愿意把自己的生命交托给一位不公平的神。其实我早已经历过神的恩惠大爱，但我居然还说神不公平，我真是既愚蠢又忘恩负义。

The second question had to do with sin. I admitted that I was a sinner, yet I thought that my sins were very minor, and that many Christians were living lives which were far worse than mine, even committing serious sins. If at the future Judgment these Christians who had committed serious sins or whose lives were much worse than mine can enter into eternal life, yet I who had committed only minor sins have to go to hell, that would be really unfair!

第二个疑问是关乎罪。我承认我是一个罪人，但我认为我犯的罪很微小，有很多基督徒的生命和行为比我坏得多，有些基督徒还犯了很严重的罪。将来在审判的日子，如果那些犯了严重的罪的基督徒和那些比我坏得多的基督徒却可以享受永生，而我这个只犯那么一点点小罪的人却要下地狱，那就太不公平了！

– Chapter 4 –

Enter Into The Promised Land

第四章

进入应许之地

Amazing grace

奇异恩典

The only true God Yahweh is full of grace and compassion, and knows my heart. He knows that I didn’t understand these two issues, and that this had led me to say those blasphemous words. But He didn’t punish me. On the contrary He let me experience ever more deeply His grace and love. From the beginning of the year 1983, I had experienced five wonderful incidents.

独一真神雅伟有无比的慈爱怜悯，而且祂了解我的心。祂知道我是真的不懂，虽然我说了那些亵渎犯上的话，但祂没有惩罚我，相反地祂让我更深地经历祂的恩惠大爱。从1983年初开始，我经历了五件奇妙的事情。

The first incident

第一件事情

At the beginning of 1983, when I was in my second year of university studies, one day I received a letter from my father in Vietnam. Father said he fell ill and needed some money for medical treatment. Whenever I got to know that my father was ill, I would try my best to send him two hundred Canadian dollars even though I was poor.

1983年初，我读大学二年级的时候，我收到父亲从越南寄来的一封信，父亲说他生病需要钱医治。当我知道父亲生病了，虽然我很穷，我还是尽我所能寄了两百块加币回去。

The government gave me four thousand dollars in student grants every year. The tuition fee was one thousand, the other three thousand dollars covered my living expenses, books, and study tools. I spent an average of around three hundred dollars each month for my living expenses. I didn’t do part-time work during the school semesters because, as I mentioned, my English was not good, so I needed more time to study. I worked in a restaurant only during the summer holidays. Therefore two hundred Canadian dollars was a big amount to me.

政府每年给我四千块钱助学金。大学的学费是一千，其余的三千块就用作生活费、书本和用具等费用，平均每个月我只有三百块钱左右作为生活费。在学期中我不做兼职工作，在前面我已说过，因为我的英文不好，我需要花很多时间来学习，放暑假时我才去餐馆打工赚钱。所以对我来说，两百块加币是一笔很大的钱。

In those years, sending money to Vietnam was very tedious. First I had to buy a money order from the Royal Bank of Canada, but I was not allowed to send it directly to my father. I had to give my father’s name and address to the Royal Bank, and they would send that money order together with my father’s name and address to the National Bank of Vietnam in Ho Chi Minh City. Then with the address I provided, the National Bank in Ho Chi Minh City would inform my father to come and pick up the money. The money that he received would be in Vietnamese currency, not Canadian dollars. Even though the procedure was inconvenient, it was reliable. All along I had been sending money to my father by this method, and every time he was able to receive it quite fast.

当年，要汇款去越南是非常麻烦的。首先，我要去加拿大皇家银行（Royal Bank）买一张汇票，但我不能把汇票直接寄给我父亲。我要把父亲的姓名和地址交给银行，他们就把那张汇票和我父亲的姓名地址寄给越南胡志明市的国家银行。然后胡志明市的国家银行根据那个地址来通知我父亲去领钱。我父亲收到的是越币，不是加币。虽然手续是麻烦一点，但这个办法倒是蛮安全的。之前我已经用过这个办法来寄钱给父亲，每次他都是很快就收到了。

But one month later, I received another letter from my father in which he told me he had not received the money. I knew that something had gone wrong, so I immediately checked the receipt from Royal Bank. I took one look and realized that I had made a big mistake. I had fill in my father’s name, the country, the city, and the street, but not the house number. The money had arrived at the National Bank in Vietnam, but they couldn’t inform my father of it because there was no house number!

但过了一个月后，我又收到父亲的另一封信，他说还没收到钱。我知道糟糕了，我立刻拿出皇家银行的收据来看。一看之下，我才发现犯了一个很大的错误。我填写了父亲的名字和国家、城市、街道的名字，但我没有写我家的门牌号码。那笔钱已到达越南胡志明市的国家银行，但他们没有办法通知我父亲，因为没有我家的门牌号码！

I was horrified. Where had the money gone to? Did it get lost? How could I have made such a mistake? I was always careful, so why was I careless this time? My father needed the money, but how could I find another two hundred dollars? I was scared and grieved, and just cried.

我很担心，我的钱到哪里去了？是不是丢了？我怎么会犯这个错误？我从来小心谨慎，这次为什么我会这样粗心大意？父亲需要用钱，我从哪里再找出两百块钱来？我又害怕又伤心，嚎啕大哭起来。

Suddenly it seemed as if someone was reminding me, “Why don’t you ask God for help?” I thought, “That’s right, just like in the past I can ask God to help me.” Immediately I started praying to God (I don’t remember whether I was kneeling or not), and poured out my fears and anxiety to Him, saying, “I am very scared. I know that you are almighty, and that you certainly can help my father receive the money, so please help.” After the prayer, my heart was filled with the same warmth and peace that I had experienced before. I knew God will help me.

忽然仿佛有人提醒我：“妳为什么不求神帮助呢？”我一想：“对啊！就像从前一样，我可以求神帮助我。”我立刻向神祷告（我忘记了我有没有跪下来），我把心中所有的担忧害怕向神倾吐出来。我说：“我很害怕，我知道袮是无所不能的，袮一定有办法让我父亲顺利收到那笔钱，求袮帮助我。”祷告完之后，我以前经历过的那股温暖平安又充满了我的心，我知道神会帮助我的。

I made a photocopy of the receipt from the Royal Bank, and sent the photocopy together with a letter to my father. I told him to take the photocopy to the National Bank and resolve the matter, for his name was on that receipt. But my father didn’t speak Vietnamese at all, and even though there was the street name, there was no house number. The National Bank in Vietnam may reject his claims since there were many people with the same name living on the same street, which is one of the main streets in Ho Chi Minh City (he was staying in a small alley of that street). So how could my father prove that he was the intended payee?

我把皇家银行的收据复印了一份，然后我把这复印本连同一封信寄给父亲。我叫父亲拿着这复印本去国家银行询问，因为这收据上有他的名字。但我父亲完全不懂越南话，而且虽然收据上有我家所在的街道，但没有我家的门牌号码。如果越南的国家银行存心不认账的话，他们可以说同一条街上同名同姓的人多得很（我家所在的那条大街是胡志明市的主要大街道之一），我父亲又怎能证明他就是收款人？

About a month later, I received another letter from my father telling me that he had received the money, and that everything went smoothly. The loving and only true God Yahweh had listened to my prayer, and once again I experienced His amazing grace!

大概一个月后，我又收到父亲寄来的信，他说他已收到那笔钱了，一切都很顺利。慈爱的真神雅伟垂听了我的祷告，我又一次经历了多么奇妙的恩典！

The second incident

第二件事情

At the start of the second year of my university studies, two other female students and I were renting a house together. But after living together for seven or eight months, our relationship had deteriorated and become very bad. All three of us had made mistakes, so not all the blame can be pinned on the other two.

大学二年级刚开始的时候，我和两个女学生合租一个房子。但同住了七、八个月后，我和她们的关系闹得很糟。我们三个人都犯了错误，并不单单是她们的错。

I decided to move out of the house at the end of the semester which was at the end of April. The final exams started at the beginning of April and carried on to the end of April. During the exams, I was too busy studying to look for a place. But I had already informed my housemates that I will be moving out on the first of May. My heart was quite anxious, for it was not easy for me to look for a place near the university.

Moreover, my circumstances were getting difficult. First, I didn’t have enough money to rent an expensive place; I could only afford a budget place. Second, I didn’t own furniture, so I would have to rent a furnished room. Third, the room would have to be near the school so that I could walk to class, not only to save time but on bus fares as well. Fourth, the place had to be safe if I were to live by myself, since I didn’t want to live in a place mixed with bad people. So how could I find a place that meets these four requirements in just a few weeks’ time? Not to mention that I couldn’t even afford the time to look for a place.

我决定等到4月底，学期一结束，我就搬出去。期末考试在4月初开始，一直到4月底才结束。那时候考试已经开始了，我忙着温习功课，没有时间去找房间。但我已告诉我的室友，我将于5月1日搬出去。我心里也很着急，因为要在大学附近租一个房间可不容易，而且我的情况是特别困难的。首先我没有钱租昂贵的地方，我只能找便宜的房间。第二我没有家具，我要找带家具的房间。第三要在学校附近，以便我可以走路上学，因为我想省时间，也想省下搭公车的钱。第四要安全，我是单独一个人，我不愿住在混杂的地方。我怎能在短短几个星期内找到符合这四个条件的地方呢？何况我根本就没有时间去找房间。

Once again I went before God and told Him my difficulty, asking Him for help. Once again my heart was filled with that indescribable warmth and peace, and I knew that God had answered my prayer. But for the time being, I put aside the matter of looking for a place, in order to concentrate on my studies in preparation for the exams.

我又再次来到神面前，我把我的困难告诉祂，我恳求祂帮助我。那股难以言喻的温暖平安又充满了我的心，我知道神已经答应了我的祷告。我暂时把这个问题放在一边，先集中精神来温习功课，应付考试。

During the final exams in April, every day I would go to one of the university libraries to study there because it was warm there, having much better heating than in my place, and it was quiet. I would usually go to the library in the morning. I would bring my lunch with me and stay in the library until it was about to close in the evening.

在4月学期末考试期间，我每天都去大学的图书馆温习，因为那里很暖和，比我家的暖气好多了，而且又安静。通常我早晨就去图书馆，我带着午餐去，一直到晚上图书馆关门才回来。

One day as I was leaving home, I suddenly had the idea of not bringing a sandwich today, but to buy a big hamburger to give myself a treat. I made a big circle to go to a 7-Eleven store on another street to buy a hamburger. When I was in front of the 7-Eleven store, I lift my eyes and saw a sign “Room for Rent” in front of a house on the opposite side. I went over to inquire, and it turned out that the room met all my requirements. It was a furnished room very close to the university and was very safe. There were several rooms in this house, all occupied by female university students. The superintendent of the house said he would not rent the rooms to male students, for he was afraid that if they get into a fight, they might destroy the house. He also said that if any girl brings a boyfriend to the house, the boyfriend wouldn’t be allowed to stay overnight. And the best thing about this place was the low rent. It so happened that I was carrying sufficient money, so I immediately paid the deposit of fifty dollars.

有一天我临出门的时候，忽然有一个意念来到脑海里，今天不带三明治了，我要去买一个大汉堡包来吃个够。我绕了一个大圈子，走到另外一条街的一家7/11便利店去买汉堡包。到了7/11店门前，我抬头一望，看到对面的房子挂着“有房间出租”的牌子，我就跑过去问一问。一问之下，我发现这个房间完全符合我的条件。那是一个带家具的房间，很接近大学，而且非常安全。这栋房子里有好几个房间，里面住的全是大学的女生。房子的管理人说，他不愿意租给男生，他怕那些男生打起架来，把房子都砸烂了。他还说如果哪个女生带男朋友回家，可不能让他留下来过夜。而最好的是房租很便宜，那天我刚刚带有足够的钱，我立刻付了五十块钱定金。

So I was able to find a most suitable room without spending any extra time to look for one. I knew that the only true God Yahweh had listened to my prayers, and that He had helped me again.

我不用花一点多余的时间就能找到一个最适合我的房间，我知道那是因为真神雅伟垂听了我的祷告，祂又一次帮助了我。

The third incident

第三件事情

At the beginning of 1983, the Department of Mathematics, the Department of Computer Science, and the Department of Engineering at the University of Ottawa set up a co-op program, which students who had completed the second year of studies could apply to. In this program, the University would arrange for the students to get work placement in a commercial or technology company. The students would do regular class studies for one semester (four months), followed by work placement in a company for one semester. This would continue, alternating between one semester of study and one semester of work, until the completion of the university degree. During the work placement, the students would receive a salary. The purpose of the program is to help them gain work experience. In this program, the students would take a longer time to get the required credits for the degree, but by the time they graduate, they will have gained much work experience. In Canada, work experience is very important in looking for a job because that is one of the main requirements when companies hire new graduates.

1983年初，渥太华大学的数学系、电脑系和工程系设立了Co-op Program （合作课程），已修完第二年级的学生就可以申请参加。在这个课程中，渥太华大学将会安排学生在一些工商业公司实习。学生在校学习一个学期（4个月），接着在公司实习一个学期，就这样学习一个学期，实习一个学期，直到完成大学的课程。在实习的4个月中，学生还可以拿到实习的工资。这个课程的目的是帮助学生取得工作的经验。按照这个课程，学生需要花长一点的时间才能修完学分，但是当毕业的时候，他们已具有丰富的工作经验。在加拿大找工作，经验是非常重要的，因为很多公司聘请职员的条件之一是要有工作经验。

When I found out about this program, I immediately applied for it. The school sent my resume and transcripts to a few companies, so I waited to see which company would like to interview me. But I waited and waited, and after two or three months there was still no interview, though several of my classmates had already been interviewed and got placement work.

当我知道学校开办了这个课程，我就立刻申请参加。学校把我的履历表和学习成绩送去一些公司，我就等待看有哪一家公司要给我面试。但我等啊等，等了两、三个月都没有面试的消息，而好几个同学都已经通过面试，找到工作了。

I felt humiliated and ashamed. I didn’t tell anyone about this, being afraid that people might laugh at me. This time I didn’t pray to God, and again complained to Him for being unfair to me.

我觉得很丢脸，很羞愧。我不向任何人说出来，我怕人家讥笑我。这次我不祷告恳求神了，我又埋怨祂不公平。

In the end I thought that this was no big deal, for even if no company gives me a job, I could still go to work in a restaurant during the summer. I was not going to die. If others want to laugh at me, let them go ahead. In any case, I had already gone through much suffering. I resolved not to indulge in self pity, but to focus my mind on preparing for the final exams in April.

最后我想也没什么大不了的事，即使没有公司愿意请我当实习生，我还是可以在暑假时去餐馆打工，我也不会死的。如果别人要讥笑我，就让他们讥笑个够吧，反正那么多苦难我都熬过去了。我决定不再自怜自叹，先努力集中精神来应付4月的学期末考试。

At the end of April, after I had just finished my last exam, the first thing I did was to go home to sleep. I woke up in the afternoon and went back to the school to see if there was any notice posted for me. There I saw a notice saying that a company wanted to interview me on the morning of the next day. I was surprised and overjoyed, yet also scared. It was already 5 p.m., and I had no time to prepare for the interview.

4月底，当我考完了最后一科之后，我先回家睡觉。下午我睡醒了，我回学校去看通告。那时候我才看到有一家公司要给我面试，时间是翌日早上。我又惊愕，又欢喜，但也害怕，当时已经是下午五点多了，我没有时间准备。

Early next morning, I went for the interview. I didn’t even have time to buy better clothes, or to find out anything about the company’s business. Then the unexpected happened again, for that company was willing to hire me right away. It was a Friday, and they asked me to start work the next Monday.

第二天清早我就前去面试，我连一件体面的衣服都来不及买，那家公司的业务性质我也不知道。奇怪的事又来了，那家公司竟愿意立刻聘请我。那天已经是星期五，他们要我在下星期一就开始上班。

I knew that the true God Yahweh was helping me again, extending His mighty hand to make such a wonderful arrangement. Years later, while I was pondering on this incident, I clearly saw God’s reasons for waiting until the last day of the semester to tell me that a company wanted to interview me.

我知道这又是真神雅伟帮助了我，祂伸出大能的手作出绝妙的安排。多年后我仔细思考这件事情，我才明白神为什么要在学期最后一天才让我知道有公司要给我面试。

First of all, by nature I get nervous easily; even a minor thing can make me anxious. If I had known of the interview earlier, I would probably be thinking about it day and night to the point of not being able to sleep well, and unable to focus on my studies. I wouldn’t do well in the exams, and would mess up the interview. God knew my character through and through, so He arranged to have me receive the interview notice only after I had finished the last exam.

第一是因为我的本性很容易担忧，一点点事情我就彷徨得很。如果我早一点知道有这个面试，我很可能就会昼夜思想，不但睡不好，恐怕连学习都不能集中。结果考试都考不好，面试也会弄垮。神很了解我的弱点，所以祂安排了在考完试之后才让我接到面试的通知。

The second reason was that God wanted me to always remember that this job was given by Him, and that I got it not by my own diligence or intelligence. I went for the interview the day after receiving the notice, so I didn’t even have to time to prepare for it. Also, I had just finished my last exam, and was exhausted mentally and physically, so even if I wanted to prepare for the interview, I wouldn’t be able to. I went to the interview with no preparation at all, yet the company was willing to hire such a naive person. I have nothing to boast about, and I will always remember that my first computer job was granted to me by the true God Yahweh.

第二是因为神要我永远记住这份工作是祂赐给我的，并不是我靠着自己的努力或聪明而得到的，因为我接到通知的翌日就去面试了，我完全没有时间准备。而且我刚刚考完试，头脑和体力都非常疲惫，我想准备都准备不来。我什么都不懂就跑去面试，那家公司却立刻聘请了我这个傻乎乎的人。我不可以夸口，我永远记得我的第一份电脑的工作是全赖真神雅伟的赐予。

This incident allowed me to see God’s matchless grace and forgiveness. Even though He knew my character, He sympathized with my weaknesses.

这件事情让我看到神无比的慈爱和宽恕，特别是祂了解我的个性，祂体谅我的软弱。

The fourth incident

第四件事情

After getting the job, I was afraid that my knowledge wasn’t enough to handle the technical side of the work. Whenever I became nervous, I would start imagining every possible negative scenario. So I couldn’t sleep the night before my first day of work. I got up at 7 a.m. to go to work. When I was walking on the street, I became even more nervous. And when I walked into the office, I was so nervous that my hands were shaking. Later when the supervisor came to talk to me, I was tongue-tied and couldn’t speak clearly.

我有了工作后又害怕了，我怕自己的知识不够，不能胜任这份工作。我担忧起来就胡思乱想，结果在第一天上班前的那个晚上我睡不着了。早上七点钟，我一定要起床去上班。走在路上，我更是忐忑不安。当我走进公司的办公室时，我已害怕得两手发抖起来。接着上司过来跟我说话时，我张口结舌地连话都说不清楚。

The supervisor brought me to my desk which was beside the left wall. On the wall I saw a picture of magnificent mountains, with a line at the bottom: “Those who trust in the Lord are as strong as Mount Zion itself, that stands unmoved forever (Psalm 125:1)”. That was a verse from the book of Psalms in the Bible. I gazed at the picture, for that verse went right into my heart, filling it with warmth. It seemed as if God was standing in front of me saying, “Don’t be afraid, you must rely on me! I will make you as strong as Mount Zion that stands unmoved forever.”

上司带我来到我的办公桌前，我一眼看到在我的桌子的左边墙壁上，有一幅很宏伟的山岭的图画。图画的底部有一行英文字: “Those who trust in the LORD are as strong as Mount Zion itself, that stands unmoved forever (Psalm 125:1)”。翻译成中文就是：“倚靠雅伟的人强壮一如锡安山，永不动摇 （诗篇125:1）”那是摘自圣经的诗篇的诗句。我目瞪口呆地望着这幅图画，那诗句一下子打进我心里，一股暖流充满了我心灵。神仿佛站在我面前对我说：“妳不要害怕，妳只要信靠我！我会使妳强壮得像锡安山一般，永不动摇。”

My tears almost came down, for God understood me. In all these years God had been helping me, saving me, and providing everything I needed, and I am certainly grateful to Him. But this time when God comforted me with this verse from the Psalms, my heart melted. God not only took care of all my daily needs, He was also concerned about the needs in my heart. At my weakest moment, the moment when I most needed encouragement, God was standing in front of me embracing me with His mighty hands. In His bosom I wasn’t afraid anymore, I felt very safe. At that very moment, standing next to my desk, I made up my mind, without any hesitation, to say to God in my heart, “I will follow you to the end!” There and then I committed my life to God.

我差点流出眼泪来，神多么了解我。这么多年来，神一再帮助了我，拯救了我，供应了我一切所需要的，我很感谢祂。但这次神用这诗句来安慰我，这才真正融化了我的心。神不但照顾我的生活所需，而祂还关怀我心灵的需要。在我最软弱的时刻，在我最需要安慰的时候，神站在我面前用祂大能的手臂拥抱着我。在祂的怀抱中我不再害怕了，我觉得很安全。就在那时刻，在我的桌子旁边，我下定决心，不再犹豫了，我在心里对神说：“我一定跟随袮到底！”我把我的生命交托给神。

I don’t know who had hung the picture there, maybe it had been there a long time. But God knew that I would be sitting here, and that at this moment I would be very weak, so He arranged to have the picture put next to my desk. During the four months of work placement in that company, every day the picture accompanied me at work, as if God was standing right next to me and encouraging me.

我不知道是谁把那幅画挂上去，说不定那幅画早已挂在那里很久了。但神预知我会坐在那里，祂知道在那时刻我很软弱，所以祂早已安排了把这幅图画挂在我的桌子旁。在那家公司工作的四个月期间，这幅图画每天伴着我工作，神仿佛就站在我旁边安慰着我。

The fifth incident (a miracle)

第五件事情（一件神迹）

On the first day of work, my supervisor asked me to sit down at my desk, and gave me several manuals on the company’s computer system. My first job was to study the manuals to understand the system, so I sat down to study them carefully.

上司请我在桌子前坐下，然后她交给我几本书，那是公司的电脑系统的手册。我的第一件工作就是研读这些手册来了解公司的电脑系统，我便坐下来仔细的研读。

Ever since childhood, I had one strange illness: I would sometimes faint for no obvious reason, and after a few minutes I would wake up as if nothing had happened. My mother brought me to several doctors to check on this, but nothing was found. Every time before passing out, I would see all the things around me turning yellow, with the yellow getting darker and darker until it becomes black at the instant of passing out. The whole process took only one minute.

我从小有一个怪毛病，有时候我会无缘无故地晕倒过去，然后过了几分钟我又若无其事地醒过来。以前母亲带我去找过几个医生作检查，都查不出原因来。每次在我晕倒之前，我看到周围的环境都变成黄色，然后那黄色变得越来越深，最后成了黑色，我就晕倒过去了，整个过程只是一分钟左右。

That morning when I sat down to read the manuals, my mind couldn’t focus. I was too tired because I hadn’t slept the night before. Suddenly I saw that the books on the desk were a bit yellow. I immediately raised my head to look around, and everything was becoming yellow. I was scared, for I knew that I was about to faint. I couldn’t afford to faint on my first day of work, I couldn’t afford to lose this job which was so hard for me to get!

那天我坐下来看书，但我没办法集中精神，我太累了，因为前一晚我完全没有睡。忽然我发现桌上的书有点黄色，我立刻抬头一望，周围的东西都变成黄色了。我大吃一惊，我知道那阵晕眩要来了。我不可以晕倒，今天是我开始工作的第一天，我不能丢掉这份工作，我很辛苦才得到这份工作！

I held on to the desk, and had one minute left. I cried out to God in my heart, “God save me!” Once I said that, everything around me became clearer, and the yellow started getting lighter and lighter. In less than one minute, the yellow was completely gone, and all the things around me became very clear. I didn’t pass out, for God had performed a miracle to save me!

我一把抓住桌子，我只有一分钟的时间了。我在心里向神呼求：“God save me! （神救我！）”我一说这句话，周围的东西立刻变得清晰起来，然后那黄色逐渐淡下来。不到一分钟，那黄色完全消退，周围一切东西都清晰了。我没有晕倒，神施行了一件神迹来拯救了我！

Before this happened, I was so tired that I couldn’t read or even sit straight, but now I didn’t feel tired at all. My mind was as clear as if I had a good night’s sleep of seven or eight hours, making it possible for me to focus my mind on studying the manuals. But the most amazing thing is that from that day on to this very day, some thirty something years later, that strange fainting illness never occurred again. God had healed me, and taken away that fainting illness.

之前我疲倦得不能看书，坐都坐不直。但现在我一点都不觉得累，脑筋清醒敏捷，仿佛睡了七、八个小时的好觉一般，我可以集中精神来研读那些手册了。而最最奇妙的是从那天开始一直到现在，已经三十多年了，那晕眩的怪毛病不再发作。神治好了我，神把那晕眩挪走了。

I commit my life totally to the true God Yahweh

我把生命完全交托给真神雅伟

Through these five incidents, God opened my eyes so that I may see that He is very real and that He loves me! His grace melted my heart, so I was very willing to commit my life totally to the true God Yahweh. I was willing to become a slave of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ.

藉着这五件事情，神打开了我的眼睛，让我看到祂是多么真实，祂爱我多么深！神的恩典把我的心融化了，我非常乐意把自己的生命完全交托给雅伟真神，我愿意成为神和主耶稣基督的奴仆。

In October of the same year, 1983, I was baptized to become a Christian. I asked God to help me find the two girls with whom I used to share a house, and He answered my prayer by helping me to reconcile with them.

同年（1983年）10月，我受洗成为基督徒。我也恳求神让我找到那两位曾和我同住的女孩子，神听了我的祷告，藉着神的帮助我和她们重新和好。

Even though at that time I didn’t have the answers to some of my questions, I believed that the loving and righteous God Yahweh had a plan for all mankind that I didn’t quite understand all along.

虽然当时我的一些疑问还没有得到解答，但我相信雅伟是一位慈爱而公义的神，祂一定有祂的计划，只是我不了解而已。

Through all these years, the longer I walk with Yahweh God, the deeper I get to know Him and the Lord Jesus Christ. I know that God loves everyone, that He wishes all people to be saved, that He doesn’t want anyone to perish, and that before the creation of the world, He already had a plan of salvation for humankind. God is absolutely just and righteous, with no partiality in Him. Actually the sufferings that I had gone through were beneficial to me, for it was through these sufferings that I was able to experience God’s mighty power and love. That is something that those who live in comfort and wealth cannot experience.

多年以来我与神同行越久，我对雅伟神和主耶稣基督的认识也越加深。我明白神爱每一个人，祂希望每一个人都得救，祂不愿有一人沉沦。祂早在创世之前已经设立了救赎人类的计划。神是完全正义公平，祂绝不偏袒任何人。而且我所受的苦难其实对我大有益处，因为藉着那些苦难，我才可以真实地经历到神的大能和慈爱，那是活在舒服富裕生活当中的人所经历不到的。

I am grateful to the humanitarian spirit of the Canadian government and the Canadian people, for they had taken care of us, generously opening their pockets to help the Vietnamese refugees. I knew that it was through them that Father God Yahweh had helped me. In December of the same year (1983), I took up Canadian citizenship and become a Canadian citizen.

我感谢加国政府和人民充满人道精神的照顾，他们慷慨解囊来资助越南难民，我知道那是父神雅伟藉着他们来帮助我。同年（1983年）12月，我加入加拿大国籍成为加国公民。

As a Christian, I want to love all people, including my enemies. I previously did not like the people of Vietnam, so I begged Yahweh God to help me love them. Thanks to Father God, He listened to my prayer, and poured out His love in my heart and changed my heart. I now love the people of Vietnam as I love the Chinese people and the people of Canada.

作为一个基督徒，我要爱所有的人，包括我的敌人。以前我不喜欢越南人民，所以我恳求雅伟父神帮助我去爱他们。感谢父神雅伟，祂垂听了我的祷告，祂把祂的爱浇灌在我心里，改变了我的心。我现在爱越南人民一如爱中国人民和加拿大人民。

Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of Yahweh forever. Psalm 23:6

我一生一世必有恩惠慈爱与我同在； 我且要住在雅伟的殿中，直到永远。 诗篇23:6